We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends

We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends

  • Downloads:5668
  • Type:Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date:2021-01-27 04:17:33
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Billy Baker
  • ISBN:9781982111083
  • Environment:PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Summary

In this comic adventure through the loneliness epidemic, a middle-aged everyman looks around one day and realizes that he seems to have misplaced his friends, inspiring him to set out on a hilarious and ultimately moving quest to revive old tribes and build new ones, in his own ridiculous way。

At the age of forty, having settled into his busy career and active family life, Billy Baker discovers that he’s lost something crucial along the way: his friends。 Other priorities always seemed to come first, until all his close friendships had lapsed into distant memories。 When he takes an assignment to write an article about the modern loneliness epidemic, he realizes just how common it is to be a middle-aged loner: almost fifty million Americans over the age of forty-five, especially men, suffer from chronic loneliness, which the surgeon general has declared one of the nation’s “greatest pathologies,” worse than smoking, obesity, or heart disease in increasing a person’s risk for premature death。 Determined to defy these odds, Baker vows to salvage his lost friendships and blaze a path for men (and women) everywhere to improve their relationships old and new。

In We Need to Hang Out, Baker embarks on an entertaining and relatable quest to reprioritize his ties with his buddies and forge more connections, all while balancing work, marriage, and kids。 From leading a buried treasure hunt with his old college crew to organizing an impromptu “ditch day” for dozens of his former high school classmates to essentially starting a frat house for middle-aged guys in his neighborhood, he experiments with ways to keep in touch with his friends no matter how hectic their lives are—with surprising and deeply satisfying results。

Along the way, Baker talks to experts in sociology and psychology to investigate how such naturally social creatures as humans could become so profoundly isolated today。 And he turns to real-life experts in lasting friendship, bravely joining a cruise packed entirely with crowds of female BFFs and learning the secrets of male bonding from a group of older dudes who faithfully meet up on the same night every week。 Bursting with humor, candor, and charm, We Need to Hang Out is a celebration of companionship and a call to action in this age of alone。

Editor Reviews

"Well-researched and insightful about our human need to interact, the narrative is also smooth and conversational。 。 。 。 A refreshing and entertaining personal perspective on why men need male friends。" —Kirkus (starred review)

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Reviews

Kristine

We Need to Hang Out by Billy Baker is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in early December。Baker realizes that he's fallen away from childhood, high school, and college friends, and feels the need to devote quality time to others; conversely, I realized that I'd be in a similar spot if I didn't take part in weekly D&D campaigns。 While putting in a real effort to offset loneliness, dang, is he super chatty about his own attempts, successful or not, about running into social stereotypes, and the t We Need to Hang Out by Billy Baker is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in early December。Baker realizes that he's fallen away from childhood, high school, and college friends, and feels the need to devote quality time to others; conversely, I realized that I'd be in a similar spot if I didn't take part in weekly D&D campaigns。 While putting in a real effort to offset loneliness, dang, is he super chatty about his own attempts, successful or not, about running into social stereotypes, and the taxing effort of event planning。 I dunno, I'd almost hate to say it, but I'd be up for hearing about the overall findings than the data gathering。 。。。more

Tanya Patrice

A book about male friendships and how it's de-prioritized as guys get older, resulting in loneliness being "an underappreciated public health threat。" The author references lots of studies to back up his claims - as well as the overwhelming response to an article he wrote for the Boston Globe which is one of it's most popular articles。 The book is written in a very easy conversational tone。 Whereas I'm not a guy, it's easy to see the nuggets of wisdom dropped - like men like to bond over activit A book about male friendships and how it's de-prioritized as guys get older, resulting in loneliness being "an underappreciated public health threat。" The author references lots of studies to back up his claims - as well as the overwhelming response to an article he wrote for the Boston Globe which is one of it's most popular articles。 The book is written in a very easy conversational tone。 Whereas I'm not a guy, it's easy to see the nuggets of wisdom dropped - like men like to bond over activities, not really talking on the phone - plus why this is happening in our society (surprise surprise -tv and social media get blamed)。 The book does offer some solutions too -mainly how the author took control of his own life after writing the article and the steps he took to right his friendships。 。。。more

Kyra Leseberg (Roots & Reads)

3。5 starsBilly Baker found himself completely absorbed in his career and young family at the age of forty。 After an assignment from his editor “to write about how middle-aged men have no friends”, Baker had time to reflect on the shift in priorities and the gradual loss of his closest friendships。 The incredible response to the assignment from readers led Baker to attempt to improve his friendships and make some new ones while also balancing all that comes along with work, marriage, and career。T 3。5 starsBilly Baker found himself completely absorbed in his career and young family at the age of forty。 After an assignment from his editor “to write about how middle-aged men have no friends”, Baker had time to reflect on the shift in priorities and the gradual loss of his closest friendships。 The incredible response to the assignment from readers led Baker to attempt to improve his friendships and make some new ones while also balancing all that comes along with work, marriage, and career。This memoir is so relatable。 It became apparent to me that friendship was no longer what it once was after I had my daughter。 I spent my twenties completely wrapped up in my career and enjoying marriage。 The lunches/dinners with friends to catch up waned and soon we were all just hitting “like” on social media posts when exhausted at the end of a long day。 Once my daughter was born and I had a few weeks at home alone with her, I was surprised by the loneliness (and sleep deprivation) I felt。 We’d traded the connection of catching up face to face with the time-saving thumbs up of a social media post。 How did we let that happen?Baker’s conversational writing style makes this a fast read。 The stats he throws in are not only interesting but surprising as well and never feel like info dumping。 Do I think he would’ve put in such an effort to rekindle friendships if it weren’t part of a work assignment? *shrugs* Am I glad that he did so that I could read this book? Absolutely。Two of my favorite quotes from this book:“Overthinking shit is my favorite recreational drug。” *“First, as a matter of fact, we are less busy now than ever, and automation has no doubt helped with that。 Those hours you waste dumb-thumbing through Instagram or trying to choose something to watch on Netflix do not count as busy。 And second, one must not confuse a ‘busy life’ with a ‘full life’。 That bait and switch has gone on too long。 So I’ll repeat again: We’ve been misinformed by the misinformed。” *Thanks to Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster for an ARC in exchange for my honest review。 We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends is scheduled for release on January 26, 2021。* Quotes included are from a digital advanced reader’s copy and are subject to change upon final publication。For more reviews, visit www。rootsandreads。wordpress。com 。。。more

Jessica Howard

This was really interesting。 Some of it didn’t fully apply to me, since Baker focuses on male friendship。 But I liked how he attempted to deconstruct bro-y culture, and the larger theme of the modern prevalence of loneliness was fascinating。 Full review coming for Shelf Awareness。

Mara

‘We Need to Hang Out’ by Billy Baker is a well-researched memoir largely about male friendship in adulthood。 This book grew from a popular Boston Globe article Baker wrote in 2017 about loneliness and his personal experience with it。 As Baker echoes, loneliness is an epidemic affecting millions of Americans。 After having children, like many of us, he found himself absent of those friendships that were so important to him when he was younger。 It reminded me of another book on friendship I read th ‘We Need to Hang Out’ by Billy Baker is a well-researched memoir largely about male friendship in adulthood。 This book grew from a popular Boston Globe article Baker wrote in 2017 about loneliness and his personal experience with it。 As Baker echoes, loneliness is an epidemic affecting millions of Americans。 After having children, like many of us, he found himself absent of those friendships that were so important to him when he was younger。 It reminded me of another book on friendship I read this year, ‘Big Friendship’ by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, but this is the flip side of the coin as it’s about male friendship and specifically about gradually disappearing friendships in adulthood。 Some of the research presented was the same, but I gleaned a lot from this book。 Baker presents a very affable, relatable tone and I really enjoyed his adventurous nature and eagerness to improve his friendships。 Throughout the book, he explains research on friendship and actively pursues his own friendships in unique and sometimes daring ways。 Although the takeaways aren’t exactly surprising—make friendship a priority, be vulnerable/honest with friends, and share activities—it cemented how important these things are and that many of us could strongly benefit from being more intentional about how we spend our time。 Thank you Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for providing this ARC。 。。。more

Sarah Wade

Thank you to Avid Reader Press and Simon and Schuster for this advanced reader's copy。 This book will be on sale 1/26/21。I really enjoyed this book, I gobbled it up in less than a day。 We are 100% in a loneliness epidemic right now and we need to fix it。 This book reminded me that I need to make more moments in my life to just be stupid with my friends。 At times, it felt like it was only written for men, but mostly when I would get hit in the face with a certain reoccurring adjective that I desp Thank you to Avid Reader Press and Simon and Schuster for this advanced reader's copy。 This book will be on sale 1/26/21。I really enjoyed this book, I gobbled it up in less than a day。 We are 100% in a loneliness epidemic right now and we need to fix it。 This book reminded me that I need to make more moments in my life to just be stupid with my friends。 At times, it felt like it was only written for men, but mostly when I would get hit in the face with a certain reoccurring adjective that I despise。 Ultimately, the book is about Baker's life and male friendships in general but I still got a lot out of it and it's inspiring, for sure。 Baker's writing is fantastic and I definitely recommend this book! I'm finding our current state of the world so lonely at times and it was nice to feel inspired to reignite some friendships。 。。。more