Black, White, and The Grey: The Story of an Unexpected Friendship and a Beloved Restaurant

Black, White, and The Grey: The Story of an Unexpected Friendship and a Beloved Restaurant

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  • Create Date:2021-01-14 04:17:23
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Mashama Bailey
  • ISBN:9781984856203
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Summary

A story about the trials and triumphs of a Black chef from Queens, New York, and a White media entrepreneur from Staten Island who built a relationship and a restaurant in the Deep South, hoping to bridge biases and get people talking about race, gender, class, and culture。
 
Black, White, and The Grey blew me away。”—David Chang 

In this dual memoir, Mashama Bailey and John O。 Morisano take turns telling how they went from tentative business partners to dear friends while turning a dilapidated formerly segregated Greyhound bus station into The Grey, now one of the most celebrated restaurants in the country。 Recounting the trying process of building their restaurant business, they examine their most painful and joyous times, revealing how they came to understand their differences, recognize their biases, and continuously challenge themselves and each other to be better。
 
Through it all, Bailey and Morisano display the uncommon vulnerability, humor, and humanity that anchor their relationship, showing how two citizens commit to playing their own small part in advancing equality against a backdrop of racism。

Editor Reviews

From the first few paragraphs of Mashama Bailey’s prologue, you know that you’re dealing with a writer of uncommon honesty。 She and partner John O。 Morisano offer us an illuminating exploration of what it takes to build something and understand one another, and in the process remind us that restaurants are about much more than just food—even though every recipe, from the Dirty Rice to the Clams Oreganata to the Country Pasta, is proof that Bailey is one of our country’s brightest chefs。 Black, White, and The Grey blew me away。”—David Chang, author of Eat a Peach

Black, White, and The Grey is the tale of a fortuitous collaboration, a lasting friendship, and an iconic restaurant。 In these racially divisive times, this book offers a much-needed commodity 。 。 。 hope。”—Jessica B。 Harris, author, lecturer, and culinary historian

“Black, White, and The Grey is a story for our hearts, minds, and times。 It breaks out of any genre ever associated with restaurants—cookbooks or otherwise—taking us on a journey into the minds and motivations of two unlikely partners, each on a mission to prove something to themselves, the world, and ultimately to each other。”—Danny Meyer, author of Setting the Table

“This book fills the silences that readers are typically left to observe or interpret。 With bold admissions of bias, discomfort, and downright tension, it illustrates the challenges faced by Bailey and Morisano, who occupy different yet interconnected worlds。 The touchstones of race and class are underscored with vulnerability as they examine implicit bias, socialization, and inequity in American society。 Their relationship represents the beauty that can develop when there is patience, will, and capacity to question the status quo。”—Jamila Robinson, Philadelphia Enquirer food editor and James Beard Journalism chair

Black, White, and The Grey speaks volumes to the moment we’re in and is exactly what we need as we look to the future of the restaurant industry。 This book is so important as we have our own uncomfortable conversations and demonstrates how we can ultimately transcend and unite。”—Marcus Samuelsson, author of The Rise: Black Cooks and the Soul of American Food

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Prologue: Finding Joy

By Mashama Bailey

I was born in the Bronx, New York, and lived there until I was five years old。 My memories as a young child in New York City are faint and overrun by loud car noises, music, and laughter。 The comforting smells of incense and cooked food wafted through the marble-floored hallways of our tenement building。 I loved how those hallways echoed with the patter of my feet。 At that age, I was often carted back and forth to Georgia, where my grandparents lived, so when we moved to Savannah in 1980, being there felt natural to me。 I was already familiar with the South。 I remembered late-afternoon thunderstorms in the summertime, eating fresh figs off my grandparents’ tree, and drinking sun tea on the neighbors’ back porch。

In Savannah, we lived in the Baldwin Park Neighborhood on East 41 Street, just off Waters Avenue。 I remember the neighborhood being diverse。 In New York, my whole tiny world had been Black and Brown。 But here, I was introduced to the mix of colors, races, classes。 and religious backgrounds that filled the homes on our street。 I even had a friend from Ethiopia who lived just a few doors down from us。 That made Savannah feel worldly。 The elderly White lady up the street baked cookies for the neighborhood kids, my best friend, Dee Dee, lived around the corner with her grandparents in a big pink house, and within only a few blocks there were palm dates to eat right from the trees, and dodgeball games to win。 There were always children outside playing as the old folks watched from their porches or living room windows。 It was a good place to be a kid。

I attended Charles Ellis Elementary and I mostly walked the one mile from home to school。 I lived the farthest away of all my friends and as we walked along, our gang grew。 We often arrived at school as a group of five or six children。 It was a different time and place。

I look back during my childhood years in Savannah as full of firsts: The first time I learned to ride a bike, the first time I saw the ocean, the first time I smoked a cigarette, my first kiss, and the first time I was called “nigger。” It happened just after recess while we were lining up along the outer wall of the cafeteria to head back to our classroom。 We were scrambling, bumping, and shoving as children tend to do while forming a line。 “STOP IT! QUIT PUSHING! MRS。 TURNER!” we screeched over one another。 And then, pointing at me, a boy in my class exclaimed, “Mrs。 Turner, she pushed me!” But I hadn’t pushed him。 We had all been pushing。 I didn’t want to say “excuse me” or “sorry” so I explained, “That’s not true。 He started it。” And then he countered with, “YOU did, nigger,” lowering his voice for the last word so that only I would hear him。 That word stung me like a bee。 I knew I was a Black girl and I knew that things didn’t come easily for my family, like buying ice cream whenever I wanted it, but we had nice things and I never before had thought that I should feel bad about my Blackness。 That word made me feel small, ugly even。 I’d only heard people use the word as a way to demean others so that they could feel bigger, more powerful。 I knew he didn’t deserve to skip ahead of me in line and that I would not let him think he was better than me。 I didn’t know what to say so I called him the worst word I could think of for a White person, blurting out, “You’re a cracker!” I thought I had shown that boy the ultimate disrespect。 And yet I didn’t feel better。

Using elementary school reasoning, I figured if I told an adult they would side with him and I would get a spanking when I got home。 I’m not sure why I thought that at the time, but I did。 I never said a word—not even to my parents。 Did I think he was right after all? Did I think he was better than me? I was ashamed。 Ashamed that I had been made to feel bad about my Blackness。

In my home, being Black felt special and unique。 We had our own music, foods, speech, traditions, and style。 It was hard at times but my parents did their best。 They worked and went to school to better themselves for us。 For a split second, I had been made to think all that wasn’t good enough。 But I knew it was bullshit that my parents worked hard and yet we all endured the judgments of White people, no matter their age。

That moment on the playground changed my perspective。 It robbed me of a little bit of joy。 I buried those feelings and from that moment on I knew that being Black wasn’t a good thing to everybody。 As a child, you don’t feel that type of shame about yourself until someone makes you feel you should—and there’s always someone who will tell you who they think you are。

We moved back to New York City about a year later and, as I grew older, I repressed that moment on the playground and pushed my feelings down even deeper。 My world expanded and with so many different colors and cultures in New York City, that playground experience seemed so irrelevant。 In a city like New York, you get to see and experience how people turn pain into art, music, and culture and how many cultures influence the environment。 But when you live among so many versions of the American experience, figuring out the relationship between Black and White can easily stay in the background。

Now that we were in the North, racism was disguised in a classy suit—all dressed up and yet smelled like wet dog。 The reality is that being Black and poor is hard。 It is also thankless and often held against us。 Fundamental rights and privileges have consistently been denied or taken away from us。 In fact, much of our current state in America has been blamed on us and we often don’t know what to do or how to stop the bleeding (start by applying pressure)。 Black folks have been conditioned to assimilate and keep to themselves。 Since returning to Savannah to open The Grey, I have stepped back and looked at how much Black people have influenced all things American, and food is no exception。 Racism has been baked into the clay and cast-iron pots of the cooking across this country。 It took moving back to Savannah for me to realize that I’d long suppressed those feelings of rage。

Regional cooking is one of the simplest ways to learn about the different parts of a culture。 One could even argue that opening a restaurant is a celebration of culture。 Restaurants allow people to feel nourished or supported。 They also allow someone from outside of the culture to learn or grow through exposure to different ingredients and different preparations of the same ingredients。 Restaurants play a big part in changing people’s perspectives。 Eating together humanizes。 When you are sitting across the table from someone it’s easier to see your similarities than your differences。

Restaurants are woven into the fabric of cities and help provide texture and cultural understanding。 In almost any city around the world, you will find the people who have migrated there represented by the themes of local restaurants。 But Black folks’ migration to this country was forced。 Black peoples’ contributions helped build these cities and provide texture。 In spite of all of this, because of slavery, Blacks have adopted American culture as their own。 So for me, American cooking and African American cooking are not that different。

With so many restaurants in America and all the different people who have migrated here from around the world, and all of us being exposed to each other’s cultures through food, why is our society so divided? When I decided to move back to Savannah and agreed to start a restaurant with my partner, Johno Morisano, little did I know that our partnership would test this theory。 It would test the basic differences in American culture and how we coexist。

We were both committed to the work we had ahead of us。 As a prospective business partner, Johno was grounded and focused on his goals。 This intrigued me, and I was also interested in his culture, which is Italian American, because Italian food, once considered valueless, is now served in most households and cooked by professionals at every level, from Michelin 3-star fine-dining restaurants to neighborhood pizzerias。

Before Johno and I considered whether we had potential as partners, we asked ourselves and each other, What could we add to the industry? How would our work be different from the same old, same old? I also needed to prove to myself that Black American food is more than what people expect it to be。 I wanted to show its value。

Reviews

notoriousEAM

An inspirational book about James Beard award-winning chef, Mashama Bailey's rise in the culinary world and owner of The Grey restaurant in Savannah, GA。 I love the conversational style of the book as she and her business partner, John O。 Morisano talk about their lives and the challenges of buying, restoring and owning the restaurant。

Janet

Date reviewed/posted: January 11, 2021Publication date: January 12, 2021When life for the entire galaxy and planet has turned on its end, you are continuing to #maskup and #lockdown to be in #COVID19 #socialisolation as the #secondwave is upon us, AND the worst sciatica attack in your life means you MIGHT sleep 3 hours a night, superspeed readers like me can read 250+ pages/hour, so yes, I have read the book … and many more today。I requested a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGa Date reviewed/posted: January 11, 2021Publication date: January 12, 2021When life for the entire galaxy and planet has turned on its end, you are continuing to #maskup and #lockdown to be in #COVID19 #socialisolation as the #secondwave is upon us, AND the worst sciatica attack in your life means you MIGHT sleep 3 hours a night, superspeed readers like me can read 250+ pages/hour, so yes, I have read the book … and many more today。I requested a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review but I have yet to hear if I was approved。 I am reviewing the book anyway on Goodreads and Facebook as I already have read the book thanks to a friend。 From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do 😸。A story about the trials and triumphs of a Black chef from Queens, New York, and a White media entrepreneur from Staten Island who built a relationship and a restaurant in the Deep South, hoping to bridge biases and get people talking about race, gender, class, and culture。In this dual memoir, Mashama Bailey and John O。 Morisano take turns telling how they went from tentative business partners to dear friends while turning a dilapidated formerly segregated Greyhound bus station into The Grey, now one of the most celebrated restaurants in the country。 Recounting the trying process of building their restaurant business, they examine their most painful and joyous times, revealing how they came to understand their differences, recognize their biases, and continuously challenge themselves and each other to be better。Through it all, Bailey and Morisano display the uncommon vulnerability, humour, and humanity that anchor their relationship, showing how two citizens commit to playing their own small part in advancing equality against a backdrop of racism。This is a beautiful book that is needed at this time of strife and racial unrest。 It is wonderfully written and I wish that I could cross the border and go and eat there。。。and that the restaurant has survived the COVID19 lockdowns。 It is funny and heartwarming and NOT 100% a cookbook, - it is a book about a cook and friendship and an overall lovely read。 Yes, there are lots of recipes, (I now want me some dirty rice!) but this is more of a love letter to food with a side of some amazing recipes。This book is also cross reviewed at http://www。facebook。com/janetsbookcorner and https://janetcousineau。wixsite。com/we。。。 。。。more

Alli

I received this ARC in exchange for a review。I enjoyed the way the book was written because it gives you perspective of both individuals at the same time instead of much later on in the book。 The words that were put to paper by both John and Mashama were authentic and really put things into perspective for me as a White female that lives in the South。 I've lived here my entire life and I've seen how different things are for White and Black individuals but it was an eye-opener to see it written i I received this ARC in exchange for a review。I enjoyed the way the book was written because it gives you perspective of both individuals at the same time instead of much later on in the book。 The words that were put to paper by both John and Mashama were authentic and really put things into perspective for me as a White female that lives in the South。 I've lived here my entire life and I've seen how different things are for White and Black individuals but it was an eye-opener to see it written in Mashama's words。 I hope to be able to visit the restaurant in the near future。 。。。more

Mom2nine

This book reads as though one is sitting with the two authors and listening to their stories and memories。 It flows easily and is interesting on many levels。 Morisano dares to question the race divide, particularly in the South。 He tells his story about opening a restaurant in a historical bus station。 When he decided to open his business, he notices that the city is still segregated and questions the reasons。 With an open heart, he decides that he wants his business partner to be a black female This book reads as though one is sitting with the two authors and listening to their stories and memories。 It flows easily and is interesting on many levels。 Morisano dares to question the race divide, particularly in the South。 He tells his story about opening a restaurant in a historical bus station。 When he decided to open his business, he notices that the city is still segregated and questions the reasons。 With an open heart, he decides that he wants his business partner to be a black female。 The story continues from there, showing what may be learned when one steps out of his comfort zone and questions how others view the world。 Book received through goodreads 。。。more

Lindsey

When I started reading Black, White, and the Grey, which was co-written by John Morisano and Mashama Bailey, I thought their alternating voices would be jarring because their writing styles are so different。 Somehow it wasn't。 Like their restaurant, their book is a perfect marriage of opposites。 They find a common ground in their passion for food and their love of Savannah, GA。 The narrative is bookended by the description of an accident involving their friend and manager, and the impact it had When I started reading Black, White, and the Grey, which was co-written by John Morisano and Mashama Bailey, I thought their alternating voices would be jarring because their writing styles are so different。 Somehow it wasn't。 Like their restaurant, their book is a perfect marriage of opposites。 They find a common ground in their passion for food and their love of Savannah, GA。 The narrative is bookended by the description of an accident involving their friend and manager, and the impact it had on their lives and restaurant。 It was a devastating personal account, and they were able to get across what a loss it was for them and their community。John and Mashama are not afraid to get down and personal with the sensitive subject matter, either。 They create an open dialogue about the race and class divide in Savannah, which is apparent to anyone who has spent any amount of time there。 Their goal is to bridge the divide, to invite the community they call home to have the hard conversations about how to heal from its history of slavery, segregation, and racism, which still echo in the city's power structure。 Their discussions are frank and open, they face their prejudices with honesty, and as a result they are able to learn from each other。The recipes were great, too, though I wish there had been more of them。 There was also a bit of a drag in the middle of the book, particularly when they are describing in detail the process of opening a restaurant。 Honestly I wish they had done away with some of that and talked more about the employees, especially their friend and manager。 Everything else was so personal so all those technical details slowed it down。I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more