Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love
- Downloads：7223
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-11-09 00:21:08
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Amir Levine
- ISBN：1585429139
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise， but what about relationships？ Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly， while others struggle？ According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr。 Amir Levine and Rachel Heller， the answer is a resounding "yes。"In Attached， Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love。 Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s， the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness。 Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving。
In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate （or potential mate） follow， offering a road map for building stronger， more fulfilling connections with the people they love。
Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness。 Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving。
In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate （or potential mate） follow， offering a road map for building stronger， more fulfilling connections with the people they love。
Reviews
Faith
，
An insightful & informative read on the three types of attachment styles & how they impact the way we behave in intimate relationships。 Are you anxious？ avoidant？ or secure？ Personally， I believe that it's possible for a person's attachment style to spontaneously change over time & to vary from one relationship to another。 Nevertheless， the book helped me develop a better understanding of myself & shed light on personal issues I was completely unaware of。 It is an essential read for anyone inter An insightful & informative read on the three types of attachment styles & how they impact the way we behave in intimate relationships。 Are you anxious？ avoidant？ or secure？ Personally， I believe that it's possible for a person's attachment style to spontaneously change over time & to vary from one relationship to another。 Nevertheless， the book helped me develop a better understanding of myself & shed light on personal issues I was completely unaware of。 It is an essential read for anyone interested in learning more efficient ways for conflict resolution in intimate relationships & for those who strive for a drama-free/healthy love life。。 。。。more
Christine
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Needed for me and my life。
María del Mar Campos
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Fantástico y sencillo libro sobre apego adulto。
Huda Hassan
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A must！simply game changer。
Hajra
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Attached breaks down relationship styles into 3 categories - it sounds simple， and these categories are certainly broad generalizations not inclusive of all people or relationships - but the authors explain the characteristics of these styles with great detail， sophistication and dare I say remarkable accuracy based on what they have observed and studied from over 2 decades of research。 The insight a person can gain about themselves by reading this book may be invaluable to them。 I found it very Attached breaks down relationship styles into 3 categories - it sounds simple， and these categories are certainly broad generalizations not inclusive of all people or relationships - but the authors explain the characteristics of these styles with great detail， sophistication and dare I say remarkable accuracy based on what they have observed and studied from over 2 decades of research。 The insight a person can gain about themselves by reading this book may be invaluable to them。 I found it very helpful to understand my personal attachment styles as I was largely clueless to them before。 I have already recommended this book to a family member。 If anyone is considering a relationship， or even if they’re already in one， I highly recommend reading this book。 。。。more
Angela
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It’s interesting reading through the comments and ratings， readers either loved or hated this book; there really isn’t a middle ground。 While there were some interesting points， I found the conclusions really obvious and the book could have easily been presented as an essay， rather than a book。 Let’s just say I’m glad Audible lets you return books…
Batool
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A must read psychology book that help understanding self and others and support relationships and connections
Elisabeth
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Very insightful！ I need to reread it to absorb all the information。 It's a good book to have on your bookshelf for lending out to close friends etc。 I really like this theory of how people have different attachment styles。 And how well it is researched。 You learn a lot about yourself and people you have had relations to。 It absolutely helps if you are one to overthink a situation or tend to run away from situations。 I think everyone should read it。 Very insightful！ I need to reread it to absorb all the information。 It's a good book to have on your bookshelf for lending out to close friends etc。 I really like this theory of how people have different attachment styles。 And how well it is researched。 You learn a lot about yourself and people you have had relations to。 It absolutely helps if you are one to overthink a situation or tend to run away from situations。 I think everyone should read it。 。。。more
Christopher Wallace
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I’d write that this is an easy and short read and on the surface it is， but it might be hard to accept and you might linger and re read parts of it… The book offers useful insights on communication even if you disagree with its premise。 If you’re interested in improving your relationships， and not even just the romantic ones， this book is worth your time。
Miel
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This book was helpful to understand the different attachment theories， mix of （current） dating pool， phrasing in expressing one's needs/desires and examples of different relationships。 This book was helpful to understand the different attachment theories， mix of （current） dating pool， phrasing in expressing one's needs/desires and examples of different relationships。 。。。more
Alec Engerson
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I be growin
Whitley Bone
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This is a very good and important read。 Attachment theory is an important theory to explore as a part of your personal growth。 There were some ideas that I thought to be oversimplified and thus made certain ideas not applicable to me， and I thought they could've been better explained to make it more applicable， but in the end I would say everyone needs to read this and other books educating on attachment theory。 This is a very good and important read。 Attachment theory is an important theory to explore as a part of your personal growth。 There were some ideas that I thought to be oversimplified and thus made certain ideas not applicable to me， and I thought they could've been better explained to make it more applicable， but in the end I would say everyone needs to read this and other books educating on attachment theory。 。。。more
Jayabrata Das
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One of my favorite books。 I haven't read any book of its style。 It's scientific， well written， engaging， and if applied to real life then life changing。 One of my favorite books。 I haven't read any book of its style。 It's scientific， well written， engaging， and if applied to real life then life changing。 。。。more
Mihai
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It was amazing at making you aware of different attachment types， how to identify them and understand more of the reasoning behind relationship issues。
Peri Duncan
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I have a lot of criticisms， but I didn’t hate this book。It felt… heteronormative。 Specifically the word “mate” in reference to romantic partners。 I don’t think they intended it to feel like that but it was vaguely irritating to listen to （audiobook）。Also， it completely ignored nonstandard relationship styles and identities （polyamory， asexual， Demisexual， etc）， which I find extremely irritating。 Curious if they think that asexual people are actually just avoidant and using that as a tool？ Or if I have a lot of criticisms， but I didn’t hate this book。It felt… heteronormative。 Specifically the word “mate” in reference to romantic partners。 I don’t think they intended it to feel like that but it was vaguely irritating to listen to （audiobook）。Also， it completely ignored nonstandard relationship styles and identities （polyamory， asexual， Demisexual， etc）， which I find extremely irritating。 Curious if they think that asexual people are actually just avoidant and using that as a tool？ Or if demisexual people are avoidant until forming an emotional attachment and then become， what， secure？ Anxious？Next point - trauma is completely unaddressed。 Can a survivor of sexual violence have a secure relationship style but not have sex and emotional closeness inextricably linked？ Or if you have trauma around sex does that mean you can never have a secure relationship style？Anyway。 I’m not saying they’re wrong， obviously。 I like the whole theory and I think it explains a LOT about a lot of people and unpacks a lot of relationship issues into pretty neat little boxes。 But I do think they’re ignoring and invalidating a huge chunk of population that has non”standard” relationships or personal identities and I can’t tell if it’s a blind spot for the authors， or an intentional slight。 。。。more
Kim Koster
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What he said: https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。 What he said: https://www。goodreads。com/review/show。。。 。。。more
Kelly Storc
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I so wish I had read this book sooner。 If the topic intrigues you in any way， listen to your gut and pick it up right away！
Tanya
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A must read for everyone interested in relationships。
The Planning Mama
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This should be essential reading for everyone。 Insightful， informative and down to earth， with many practical examples and reflective questions throughout。 Full of eye-opening and very accessible research based information that is applicable to all sorts of relationships， including romantic and platonic。 Written in a very approachable way that had me turning the pages quickly， hungry for more revelations and full of plenty of ah-ha！ moments for both myself and the people in my life。 This has mad This should be essential reading for everyone。 Insightful， informative and down to earth， with many practical examples and reflective questions throughout。 Full of eye-opening and very accessible research based information that is applicable to all sorts of relationships， including romantic and platonic。 Written in a very approachable way that had me turning the pages quickly， hungry for more revelations and full of plenty of ah-ha！ moments for both myself and the people in my life。 This has made it easy to understand the concepts of attachment - avoidant， secure and anxious - and elaborates on them all further with their own sections and examples to demonstrate them as well as the reasons behind them。 A fascinating read。 。。。more
Nikki Elrod
，
First， what I liked:It gave some awesome relationship advice。 It gave me new ways to effectively communicate with my partner and allow us to grow together。 It gave skills on how to argue effectively as well。 I will definitely be handing it off for him to read next。 What I didn’t like:It villainized avoidants。 I’m a couple chapters it painted avoidants as bad people who refuse to communicate。 That’s not how all avoidants are and this should be encouraging change within them， not painting them to First， what I liked:It gave some awesome relationship advice。 It gave me new ways to effectively communicate with my partner and allow us to grow together。 It gave skills on how to argue effectively as well。 I will definitely be handing it off for him to read next。 What I didn’t like:It villainized avoidants。 I’m a couple chapters it painted avoidants as bad people who refuse to communicate。 That’s not how all avoidants are and this should be encouraging change within them， not painting them to be the bad guy。 Avoidants aren’t the bad guy。 They just need some guidance on how to be better partners as well。 If you’re reading this and you’re avoidant， you’re not a bad and cold person and you aren’t abusing the anxious people in your life purposely。 So read with care。 。。。more
Kim
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Incredible， insightful book。 Learned alot about myself， past partners， relationships， etc
Inda
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Very interesting to understand my own attachment style and how to work to be more secure。 It’s a bit old school as the examples are generally very binary and/or cis， and mostly covers monogamy。 But I found it very useful for myself。
Paulius Mantulovas
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Must read for everyone， who care about relationships， personal happiness and willingness to invest into better version of your self as individual and couple。
Heidi Rothert
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Very interesting look at attachment and why people act the way they do in relationships。
Elisabeth
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This is a must read for everyone！ It opened my eyes to my attachment style and I realize that I was attracting and dating avoidant people。 This does not work for me and I know what to do on the future to be in more fulfilling relationships。
Marta Barao
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A must read for relationships navigation
Omar Alassil
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Good insights but I felt that the authors were trying to put everyone in one of three boxes while the reality is more complex and we’re all unique。 In addition， I found many pages to be gap fillers and ideas being repeated multiple times。
Laura
，
Hmm。 Some parts of this were very insightful， but to categorize people into just three attachment styles and to illustrate this with oftentimes simplistic， almost caricature， examples。。。 I don't know。 Hmm。 Some parts of this were very insightful， but to categorize people into just three attachment styles and to illustrate this with oftentimes simplistic， almost caricature， examples。。。 I don't know。 。。。more
Alexander Fitzgerald
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Mind altering book。 It changed the way I see the world。 So many things make sense now。 This answered so many questions I had about Earthlings。 Highly recommended for anyone who participates or has participated in a human relationship。
Ilina Trendafilova
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