Smile: The Story of a Face
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- Create Date：2021-10-28 11:20:58
- Update Date：2025-09-07
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- Author：Sarah Ruhl
- ISBN：1797130900
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Summary
The extraordinary story of one woman’s ten-year medical and metaphysical odyssey that brought her physical， creative， emotional， and spiritual healing， by a MacArthur genius and two-time Pulitzer finalist。
At the height of her career， with her first play opening on Broadway， and a happily married mother of three， Sarah Ruhl had just survived a high-risk twins pregnancy when she discovered the left side of her face completely paralyzed。 She is assured that ninety percent of Bell’s palsy patients see spontaneous improvement and experience a full recovery。 Like Ruhl’s own mother。 Like Angelina Jolie。 But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent。 And for a woman， wife， mother， and artist working in theater， the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges。 So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face—one that， while recognizably her own—is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions。
In a series of piercing， witty， and lucid meditations， Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient， wife， mother， and artist。 She explores the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape， the pain of postpartum depression， the story of a marriage， being a playwright and working mom to three tiny children， and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of illness。
Brimming with insight， humility， and levity， Smile is a triumph by one of America’s leading playwrights。 It is an intimate examination of loss and reconciliation， and above all else， the importance of perseverance and hope in the face of adversity。
At the height of her career， with her first play opening on Broadway， and a happily married mother of three， Sarah Ruhl had just survived a high-risk twins pregnancy when she discovered the left side of her face completely paralyzed。 She is assured that ninety percent of Bell’s palsy patients see spontaneous improvement and experience a full recovery。 Like Ruhl’s own mother。 Like Angelina Jolie。 But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent。 And for a woman， wife， mother， and artist working in theater， the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges。 So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face—one that， while recognizably her own—is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions。
In a series of piercing， witty， and lucid meditations， Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient， wife， mother， and artist。 She explores the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape， the pain of postpartum depression， the story of a marriage， being a playwright and working mom to three tiny children， and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of illness。
Brimming with insight， humility， and levity， Smile is a triumph by one of America’s leading playwrights。 It is an intimate examination of loss and reconciliation， and above all else， the importance of perseverance and hope in the face of adversity。
Reviews
Donna
，
Do you have to have contracted Bell’s Palsy during， or immediately after， pregnancy to find this book helpful or insightful？ No， but it certainly is thought provoking about the difficulty that comes from the inability to smile， perform certain “normal” facial expressions and the question of how you and others perceive your less than symmetrical face。 It is especially important when you have personally experienced this disease and no one ever discusses what the loss of your fullest smile means， b Do you have to have contracted Bell’s Palsy during， or immediately after， pregnancy to find this book helpful or insightful？ No， but it certainly is thought provoking about the difficulty that comes from the inability to smile， perform certain “normal” facial expressions and the question of how you and others perceive your less than symmetrical face。 It is especially important when you have personally experienced this disease and no one ever discusses what the loss of your fullest smile means， both internally and externally。 It was also meaningful to listen to the author narrate her own audio book， but there were portions that seemed unnecessary for the reader who hasn’t experienced this illness。 Overall， it was very helpful to hear more about a little known but amazingly frequent condition。 。。。more
Autumn Kovach
，
Since Sarah is a playwright， it's no surprise she is a great storyteller in general。 This was a fascinating audiobook about her 2+ year journey with bells palsy after her twins were born。 She has analyzed extensively what we do with our face and smiles culturally， with friends and family， to children。 Definitely some great food for thought for the capability that we may take for granted to interact， signal friendliness and connect with just our smiles。 "There’s a complex set of unspoken rules gu Since Sarah is a playwright， it's no surprise she is a great storyteller in general。 This was a fascinating audiobook about her 2+ year journey with bells palsy after her twins were born。 She has analyzed extensively what we do with our face and smiles culturally， with friends and family， to children。 Definitely some great food for thought for the capability that we may take for granted to interact， signal friendliness and connect with just our smiles。 "There’s a complex set of unspoken rules guiding women’s smiles in publicWhether and how long she smilesAt night， during the dayat strangers in new neighborhoodson her own blockin boardrooms， in banksher smile can be protective something to withhold， bestow…" 。。。more
Connie Kuntz
，
On page 204 Ruhl writes， "My progress is not linear。" Well， neither is this book。 It's brilliant and I hope you read it。 Some themes:ReadingAnger （Hi NICU Nurses！ Audre Lorde "it's loaded with information and energy"）Illness / Sickness （Shame， blame）Marriage （the unconditional love of husbands）Death （Parents， friend， student / friend）Suicide （erasing oneself）Twins （one is named Hope）Parenthood （three kids， "good enough mom"）Playwriting （Eurydice， the vibrator play）Writing （essays）Co-writing （har On page 204 Ruhl writes， "My progress is not linear。" Well， neither is this book。 It's brilliant and I hope you read it。 Some themes:ReadingAnger （Hi NICU Nurses！ Audre Lorde "it's loaded with information and energy"）Illness / Sickness （Shame， blame）Marriage （the unconditional love of husbands）Death （Parents， friend， student / friend）Suicide （erasing oneself）Twins （one is named Hope）Parenthood （three kids， "good enough mom"）Playwriting （Eurydice， the vibrator play）Writing （essays）Co-writing （harder than regular writing， imo）Reading （I know I mentioned that at the top， but it bears repeating）Friendship Education / Experiences （Yale， Piven， etc。）Religion （Catholicism， agnosticism， Buddhism， Judaism）Amusing but deep misunderstandings （"lizard eye"）Also want to say there are many， many art and literary references。 This is not a long book， just over 200 pages， but it took me a long time to read because it'sDEEP。 。。。more
Kerry
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Loved loved loved this one
Karen
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Has all the things I like: A personal story， lots of cultural references， a little humor， a little spirituality， some struggle。 Easy and interesting to read。
Lorri Steinbacher
，
This book is lovely that examines what it means for our identity when our body fails us。
Aaron California
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Comments from a readerA good memoir。 I think it is an inspiration for those with a facial disability or who have a neutral expression most of the time。
Dina Horne
，
It took a bit for me to get into this memoir。 You could say I went in blind， not knowing Ruhl or her work。 It was a slow start， and I thought we had just another book about a working woman who had babies。 It became much more， living with disappointment and pain。 Love and loss。 Faith and questioning。 Ruhl highlights the identity women especially wrestle to see for and of themselves。 She is authentic and raw and yet not so serious that you can be disarmed， all of a sudden realizing that her insigh It took a bit for me to get into this memoir。 You could say I went in blind， not knowing Ruhl or her work。 It was a slow start， and I thought we had just another book about a working woman who had babies。 It became much more， living with disappointment and pain。 Love and loss。 Faith and questioning。 Ruhl highlights the identity women especially wrestle to see for and of themselves。 She is authentic and raw and yet not so serious that you can be disarmed， all of a sudden realizing that her insights are not just applicable to her story。 Her relationship with her husband is heartwarming。 Don’t miss her final haiku to him in the end notes。 。。。more
Carol Surges
，
When I saw a review of this book mentioning that it was about someone who had Bell's Palsy， I was immediately intrigued。 Who would write about that？ Then when I began to read Ruhl's memoir and discovered that a small percentage of those afflicted have permanent paralysis， and the author was one of those few， I was shocked and honestly relieved that I had escaped the worst of what the disease could offer。 For people who don't know， Bell's Palsy is a strange affliction that paralyzes one side of t When I saw a review of this book mentioning that it was about someone who had Bell's Palsy， I was immediately intrigued。 Who would write about that？ Then when I began to read Ruhl's memoir and discovered that a small percentage of those afflicted have permanent paralysis， and the author was one of those few， I was shocked and honestly relieved that I had escaped the worst of what the disease could offer。 For people who don't know， Bell's Palsy is a strange affliction that paralyzes one side of the face。 There's no comprehensive explanation for what causes it and as the author shows， no sure fire cure。 Most people gradually get their facial movements back but most have some residual damage。 Like the author， I too can usually identify people who have had it。 Ruhl spent 10 years trying to bring her face back to what it was using every kind of therapy - most of it experimental。 While she worked on the physical aspects of her problem， she also explored what literature， philosophy， psychology and history had to say about the face and its impact on the human experience。 It's a deeply felt and researched look at a disease we know so little about。 。。。more
Lydia Carol
，
HACK VANISH Credit specialist did it for me。 Before the coronavirus pandemic， I had criminal Judgments， few evictions， and missed / late payment which negatively impacted my credit score down to 487 and left me in difficult financial situation， as a single mum of 3， I needed a loan to keep the family running after I lost my husband as a result of COVID-19， all hope were lost， until Mr。 Kannan and Olivia reassured and referred me to HACK VANISH， a credit genius who was very helpful in fixing my r HACK VANISH Credit specialist did it for me。 Before the coronavirus pandemic， I had criminal Judgments， few evictions， and missed / late payment which negatively impacted my credit score down to 487 and left me in difficult financial situation， as a single mum of 3， I needed a loan to keep the family running after I lost my husband as a result of COVID-19， all hope were lost， until Mr。 Kannan and Olivia reassured and referred me to HACK VANISH， a credit genius who was very helpful in fixing my report after I reached out to him via: +1（650） 499 5548 and Email: hackvanish （At） gmail （Dot） com， I carefully followed his protocols， throughout the process which lasted for about 6 days， I felt so involved because he maintained an open line of communication till I got my score back to 796， currently my loan application has been approved， I can now give my kids better life。 If you need to hire a hacker， HACK VANISH is highly recommended。 。。。more
Mam
，
Sarah Ruhl is a wordsmith， so her writing is a feast。 She describes the 10-year battle to recover her smile。 She had everything else in spades - successful career， good marriage， wonderful children， financial security。 This was not a whine， but a detailed account of a journey。 I believe someone in my family was once diagnosed with Bells Palsy， but I was fairly young， and the 'affliction' didn't last very long。 I only remembered that after I began to read this book。 Sarah Ruhl is a wordsmith， so her writing is a feast。 She describes the 10-year battle to recover her smile。 She had everything else in spades - successful career， good marriage， wonderful children， financial security。 This was not a whine， but a detailed account of a journey。 I believe someone in my family was once diagnosed with Bells Palsy， but I was fairly young， and the 'affliction' didn't last very long。 I only remembered that after I began to read this book。 。。。more
Britta Böhler
，
Interesting in parts but the religious stuff is just not my cup of tea。
Brad
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Well written and kind of interesting。 Didn't transcend for me。 Well written and kind of interesting。 Didn't transcend for me。 。。。more
Elizabeth Boquet
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Loved， loved， loved this book。 I didn’t realize， until I started reading， that she is also the author of The Vibrator Play， which I saw years ago and also loved。 I think I will design a whole unit around her work the next time I teach Lit of Illness and Healing。
Mystic Miraflores
，
Although entertaining at times， I didn't find Ms。 Ruhl's experience to be out-of-the-ordinary。 Many people suffer and die from cancer， miscarriages， difficult pregnancies， bad doctors， useless therapists， etc。 What sets Ms。 Ruhl apart is that she is a known playwright and has the talent to write about her experiences and feelings。 Most of us ordinary folks who have also experienced maladies don't have creative reputations and talent to write。 So the memoir is okay， but it reminded me of someone Although entertaining at times， I didn't find Ms。 Ruhl's experience to be out-of-the-ordinary。 Many people suffer and die from cancer， miscarriages， difficult pregnancies， bad doctors， useless therapists， etc。 What sets Ms。 Ruhl apart is that she is a known playwright and has the talent to write about her experiences and feelings。 Most of us ordinary folks who have also experienced maladies don't have creative reputations and talent to write。 So the memoir is okay， but it reminded me of someone I had forgotten about for a long time， a brave woman with Bell's Palsy。 I would like to tell you about her。 Nancy Zieman （June 21， 1953 – November 14， 2017） was a sewing teacher， author and entrepreneur。 She founded Nancy's Notions and for decades had the "Sewing with Nancy" PBS series。 She had Bell's Palsy due to a childhood illness。 Yet， she was not afraid to appear on camera and give interviews at quilt shows/conventions。 Although I learned to quilt and sew at local fabric stores in my area， I considered Nancy also to be one of my teachers， as I watched many of her 910 episodes over the years， from 1982 to 2017。 I was heartbroken to hear that Nancy was diagnosed with both bone and breast cancer in 2015。 She passed away in 2017 at the fairly young age of 64。 She will always be my hero。 I now run a chapter of a charity which donates blankets to sick， traumatized and needy children。 I would like to think this brave woman inspired me to take on this special mission， using the sewing and quilting skills I learned from her。 。。。more
Rebekah
，
I'm not a fan of Ruhl's plays， but since I had to read Eurydice for one of my grad school courses and this book had just come out， I decided to read this too。 The first half made me really annoyed as Ruhl bemoans her Bells Palsy and gives up on getting better after a few unpleasant run-ins with doctors and people who claim to treat Bells Palsy， ignoring the entire time that Ruhl is fortunate enough to have health insurance to try going to all these different doctors in search of treatment。 The s I'm not a fan of Ruhl's plays， but since I had to read Eurydice for one of my grad school courses and this book had just come out， I decided to read this too。 The first half made me really annoyed as Ruhl bemoans her Bells Palsy and gives up on getting better after a few unpleasant run-ins with doctors and people who claim to treat Bells Palsy， ignoring the entire time that Ruhl is fortunate enough to have health insurance to try going to all these different doctors in search of treatment。 The second half is stronger when Ruhl begins to go back to treat her Bells Palsy again and begins to see improvements in her condition - the tone of the book gets less woe is me of course。 Overall though， I didn't really enjoy this memoir。 My professor， having the same idea as me to read Smile on top of reading Eurydice for our class， didn't like this book either， but did recommend I read Ruhl's essay collection。 。。。more
Emily Kraynak
，
I loved this memoir from start to finish。 Thank you， Sarah Ruhl， for taking a decade of ups and downs and turning it into a story of recovery， acceptance and gratitude。 In particular I loved her stories of parenthood， and how towards the end she realized her children had loved and accepted her face all along。 “I began to think not: What is your mirror？ But: Who is your mirror？” （As a side note， I believe the poet Max in Ruhl’s book is the same poet Max Ritvo from Suleika Jaouad’s memoir Between I loved this memoir from start to finish。 Thank you， Sarah Ruhl， for taking a decade of ups and downs and turning it into a story of recovery， acceptance and gratitude。 In particular I loved her stories of parenthood， and how towards the end she realized her children had loved and accepted her face all along。 “I began to think not: What is your mirror？ But: Who is your mirror？” （As a side note， I believe the poet Max in Ruhl’s book is the same poet Max Ritvo from Suleika Jaouad’s memoir Between Two Kingdoms。 Seeing as both memoirs moved me deeply， and each author was moved by him， I believe I ought to run out and get my hands on his poetry as soon as possible。） 。。。more
Wiley Amsel
，
Truly 760PLUS CREDIT SCORE are the best people I have ever met！ I was reluctant to fix my credit because I was nervous and dubious to repeat the terrible process i had the previous time with different companies but they all made me feel more than comfortable with the process。 They made sure i knew everything every step of the way and even triple and quadruple explained things to ensure that i was knowledgeable on what i was doing。 I and my family are so blessed to have met such good people; they Truly 760PLUS CREDIT SCORE are the best people I have ever met！ I was reluctant to fix my credit because I was nervous and dubious to repeat the terrible process i had the previous time with different companies but they all made me feel more than comfortable with the process。 They made sure i knew everything every step of the way and even triple and quadruple explained things to ensure that i was knowledgeable on what i was doing。 I and my family are so blessed to have met such good people; they raised my FICO score from 573 to 802 shoot， they are just God sent to me for doing this great job on my score after several failures。 If you ever get in touch with them you will most definitely be in great hands in getting your credit fixed with 760PLUS CREDIT SCORE AT GMAIL DOT COM /304 774 5902 please don’t forget to let him know I recommended you cheers！！！ 。。。more
Janet
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grace， loss， love， grief， love， acceptance。 good， good enough。 balance， beauty， grace。Just please read this gorgeous meditation on what it means to be human and the good fortune of having good humans around when bad things happen， your health goes sideways but and still you have love。 and grief。 and small acts of wonder and insight
Siouxsie
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So beautiful， so painful， and so much wisdom in both。 She is one of my favorite writers out there。 She knows how to reach right into my heart。
Melissa
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Depression is melancholy minus it’s charms。 （Susan Sontag） This memoir is an exquisite exploration of illness， motherhood， depression， life。May all the broken faces heal。May what appears to be broken， actually be in the midst of an untold， unforeseeable healing。
Robyn Martin
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Audible
Corbin Ridley
，
One of the most important items in your financial life is your credit report。 Your credit report contains information about where you live and work， how you pay your bills， whether you have been sued， had a lien filed against you， or have filed for bankruptcy， whether you are qualified for a loan or not。 I had a good score （692） I was planning on getting our home by the end of this year。 Everything changed when I lost my job earlier this year and missed out on some payments。 I then went through One of the most important items in your financial life is your credit report。 Your credit report contains information about where you live and work， how you pay your bills， whether you have been sued， had a lien filed against you， or have filed for bankruptcy， whether you are qualified for a loan or not。 I had a good score （692） I was planning on getting our home by the end of this year。 Everything changed when I lost my job earlier this year and missed out on some payments。 I then went through a nasty repossession which dropped my credit score by over 100 points。 A realtor I’ve been in contact with introduced me to this live saver， （METRONET CREDIT SOLUTION） out of my desperation to fulfill my promise to my family I contacted them。 They were very responsive and professional， after 9days I pulled my credit report as I was told。 I was amazed when I saw my score had risen to 761， all negative items had been wiped。 I can’t stop thanking them for fulfilling my dreams of getting our own house this year。 Please contact them via metronetcreditsolution@gmail。com or call their helpline 205 518 3032。 Don’t forget to mention me， you can thank me later。 。。。more
Beth
，
4。5 What is in a face？ A smile？ And non-verbal greeting and what happens when you can no longer do that？ This book was another great listen and I adore the author。 Learning to live with our limitations when something out of control happens is so powerful。
Christina S。C。
，
I did find that the book was a bit long but I did enjoy reading it。 I cried some moments and couldn't imagine how she went through the things that she did。 I did find that the book was a bit long but I did enjoy reading it。 I cried some moments and couldn't imagine how she went through the things that she did。 。。。more
Annie
，
I was interested in this book because I know of Ruhl's work as an accomplished playwright。 She is a really good writer。 This book is a departure from her previous work because it is a mix of memoir and rumination on illness。 The onset of Bell's Palsy post partum after the birth of her twins is the catalyst for this memoir。 But her body deceives her in other ways as she discovers she has celiac disease。 This book blends the joys and insecurities that come with society's expectations on what it me I was interested in this book because I know of Ruhl's work as an accomplished playwright。 She is a really good writer。 This book is a departure from her previous work because it is a mix of memoir and rumination on illness。 The onset of Bell's Palsy post partum after the birth of her twins is the catalyst for this memoir。 But her body deceives her in other ways as she discovers she has celiac disease。 This book blends the joys and insecurities that come with society's expectations on what it means to be a good mother （I could really relate to her comparisons of inner doubts and comparisons to what we perceive as to be better mommies （more energy， more patience， etc。）。 She is able to effectively convey the stress of being a professional writer and being a mother and trying to excel at both。 Ruhl also talks about the importance of smiling in bonding with infants and how smiles are perceived in American Culture。 It is a kind of social currency that when your smile looks more like a grimace， has the risk of causing many cultural misunderstandings。 I really enjoyed the book in the beginning but towards the end started to lose interest -- maybe in part because she was struggling on how to end since in life， not everything gets wrapped up with a bow。 。。。more
Brynn
，
"Every month， women practice for this， casual loss as a regular thing—women bleed in private like animals; men bleed in public like kings。" （10）"In truth， we don't have to win to be grateful。 We can always thank the people we love， the people who help us， even when we don't win an award。 We often just forget to。" （83）"Why is it that two sisters often divide the world between them in this way？ Exaggerate their strengths and their defects to make a perfect division between realms？ A sort of primal "Every month， women practice for this， casual loss as a regular thing—women bleed in private like animals; men bleed in public like kings。" （10）"In truth， we don't have to win to be grateful。 We can always thank the people we love， the people who help us， even when we don't win an award。 We often just forget to。" （83）"Why is it that two sisters often divide the world between them in this way？ Exaggerate their strengths and their defects to make a perfect division between realms？ A sort of primal， unspoken noncompete clause？ A ridiculous insistence on symmetry。" （128）"I noted how long it had been since I had felt a sensation of pleasure—the kind of pleasure that slows down time， that plants the mind back in the body like a bulb in the earth。" （150）"In the Ingmar Bergman film Fanny and Alexander， Gustav says， 'My dear， dear friends。。。My wisdom is simple。。。We must live int he little world。 Don't be sad， dear splendid artists。 Actors and actresses， we need you all the same。。。The world is a den of thieves and night is falling。。。Let us be kind， generous， affectionate， and good。 It is necessary and not at all shameful， to take pleasure in the little world。'" （222）"And I think: imperfection is a portal。 Whereas perfection and symmetry create distance。 Our culture values perfect pictures of ourselves， mirage， over and above authentic connection。 But we meet each other through the imperfect particular of our bodies。 Imperfection calls out for affinity—for the beloved to say， I too am broken， but may I join you？" （225） 。。。more
Kristine Circenis
，
Thank you Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the electronic advanced reader's copy。Content warnings: birth trauma， medical discussion， mention of suicideRuhl details her onset of Bell's palsy and the thereafter with great detail and care。 I appreciate her candidness in describing the rollercoaster of emotions， mental and physical symptoms， and frustrations with medical professionals。 Her memoir opened my eyes more broadly to Bell's palsy as a condition and to the lack of research on its occurren Thank you Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the electronic advanced reader's copy。Content warnings: birth trauma， medical discussion， mention of suicideRuhl details her onset of Bell's palsy and the thereafter with great detail and care。 I appreciate her candidness in describing the rollercoaster of emotions， mental and physical symptoms， and frustrations with medical professionals。 Her memoir opened my eyes more broadly to Bell's palsy as a condition and to the lack of research on its occurrence in pregnant and/or people who have recently given birth。 I also loved the inclusion of photographs throughout the book。 。。。more
Jennydlovesthebooks
，
After reading Sarah Ruhl's memoir， you can imagine what it would feel like to lose control of half of your face to Bell's palsy unexpectedly。 That means losing half of your smile -- an essential tool to communicate with the world without words。 Ruhl experienced this loss after the birth of her twins。 I know after becoming a mother （every single time I had a child）， I felt like a different person and that I loss a part of myself。 Compounding that with the loss of part of my face would have been e After reading Sarah Ruhl's memoir， you can imagine what it would feel like to lose control of half of your face to Bell's palsy unexpectedly。 That means losing half of your smile -- an essential tool to communicate with the world without words。 Ruhl experienced this loss after the birth of her twins。 I know after becoming a mother （every single time I had a child）， I felt like a different person and that I loss a part of myself。 Compounding that with the loss of part of my face would have been extremely difficult。Ruhl， a successful playwright （and memoirist， in my opinion， based on the writing in this book） and mother of three small children， takes the reader through her 10-year medical odyssey to regain her smile。 Most regain control spontaneously and experience a full recovery， but Ruhl is part of the unlucky 10 percent who do not。 This is a memoir that I enjoyed （the prose is great）， but also thought a lot about as I was reading it。 Thought provoking。 。。。more
Kris
，