I Am Not Who You Think I Am
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- Create Date：2021-10-26 11:21:05
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Eric Rickstad
- ISBN：1094000434
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Summary
One secret。
Eight cryptic words。
Lifetimes of ruin。
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself， finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am， and is left reeling with grief and shock。 Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew？ Terrified， Wayland keeps the note a secret， but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning。
Eight years later， Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried。
With the help of two friends， Wayland searches for the truth。 Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father's old books， a sinister history behind the town's most powerful family， and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland's birth。 Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland's suspicions of everyone around him。 Soon， he'll regret he ever found the note， trusted his friends， or believed in such a thing as the truth。
'I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM' is an ingenious， addictive， and shattering tale of grief， obsession， and fate as eight words lead to lifetimes of ruin。
Eight cryptic words。
Lifetimes of ruin。
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself， finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am， and is left reeling with grief and shock。 Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew？ Terrified， Wayland keeps the note a secret， but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning。
Eight years later， Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried。
With the help of two friends， Wayland searches for the truth。 Together they uncover strange messages scribbled in his father's old books， a sinister history behind the town's most powerful family， and a bizarre tragedy possibly linked to Wayland's birth。 Each revelation raises more questions and deepens Wayland's suspicions of everyone around him。 Soon， he'll regret he ever found the note， trusted his friends， or believed in such a thing as the truth。
'I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM' is an ingenious， addictive， and shattering tale of grief， obsession， and fate as eight words lead to lifetimes of ruin。
Reviews
Michelle
，
Excellent。 Read in a day。
Larry H
，
Wow， this was dark and twisty。When he was eight years old， Wayland’s father killed himself in front of him。 The only explanation was a cryptic note which read， “I am not who you think I am。” He can’t understand why his father would’ve killed himself or why his mother has gotten rid of anything connected with him。Now 16， Wayland is still haunted by the memories of that day， but when he makes a startling discovery， he thinks the note his father left may be the key to some answers around his death。 Wow， this was dark and twisty。When he was eight years old， Wayland’s father killed himself in front of him。 The only explanation was a cryptic note which read， “I am not who you think I am。” He can’t understand why his father would’ve killed himself or why his mother has gotten rid of anything connected with him。Now 16， Wayland is still haunted by the memories of that day， but when he makes a startling discovery， he thinks the note his father left may be the key to some answers around his death。 But the more he digs， things get more mysterious， and Wayland gets more and more unhinged。 And what he finds out may be far more bizarre than he ever imagined。 I Am Not Who You Think I Am was a definite slow burn but it was very intriguing。 But as Wayland started to lose his grip， the book starts getting darker and darker and definitely more bizarre。 By the end it felt a little like a mashup between a gothic novel and Riley Sager’s Lock Every Door， more in tone though， not horror。If dark and twisty books are your jam， check this out！See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria。blogspot。com。Follow me on Instagram at https://www。instagram。com/the。bookishworld。of。yrralh/。 。。。more
Mel Brannen
，
Yes， it’s fast-paced。 Yes， it’s intriguing。 But in the end it’s very sad。 I really don’t need contrived sadness in my life。
Awp
，
Tight little mystery。 Interesting characters and plot twists。
Amy
，
Eight words on a piece of paper found by the then-eight year old main character， when his father commits suicide。But， was it his father？ Why did his feet not reach the floor？ Who lives in the secluded mansion？ This is a fast-paced， gritty thriller that tells the story of a family riddled with hidden truths about who they really are。 Wayland keeps the note hidden for years before he begins to uncover facets of his life that just aren’t adding up。 He enlists the help of friends， or tries to， only Eight words on a piece of paper found by the then-eight year old main character， when his father commits suicide。But， was it his father？ Why did his feet not reach the floor？ Who lives in the secluded mansion？ This is a fast-paced， gritty thriller that tells the story of a family riddled with hidden truths about who they really are。 Wayland keeps the note hidden for years before he begins to uncover facets of his life that just aren’t adding up。 He enlists the help of friends， or tries to， only to be left disappointed and betrayed。 But was he really betrayed？ When he finally learns truths， it’s too late。“Don’t wreck your future trying to understand the past。”Then only part I didn’t care for was the eager wielding of a revolver by a distraught teenager who clearly didn’t need to be in possession of such an item。The narration of the audiobook was performed by Steven Weber， and was well done。 Thank you to NetGalley， Eric Rickstad， and Blackstone Publishing for an advanced listening audiobook copy。 My opinions are my own。 。。。more
Christine Livinghouse
，
While I feel for any 16 yr old who believed he had witnessed his father’s suicide for the past 8 years， the character of Wayland becomes so entitled and hostile that unfortunately he just turns into a most unbelievable character。 I’m sorry to say that 1/2 way through as mysteries begin to unravel， so does the plot as it begins to fall into a ridiculous realm。 Wayland appears to snap and act in a manner that makes the climax of the book just feel cheap。
Lydia Carol
，
HACK VANISH Credit specialist did it for me。 Before the coronavirus pandemic， I had criminal Judgments， few evictions， and missed / late payment which negatively impacted my credit score down to 487 and left me in difficult financial situation， as a single mum of 3， I needed a loan to keep the family running after I lost my husband as a result of COVID-19， all hope were lost， until Mr。 Kannan and Olivia reassured and referred me to HACK VANISH， a credit genius who was very helpful in fixing my r HACK VANISH Credit specialist did it for me。 Before the coronavirus pandemic， I had criminal Judgments， few evictions， and missed / late payment which negatively impacted my credit score down to 487 and left me in difficult financial situation， as a single mum of 3， I needed a loan to keep the family running after I lost my husband as a result of COVID-19， all hope were lost， until Mr。 Kannan and Olivia reassured and referred me to HACK VANISH， a credit genius who was very helpful in fixing my report after I reached out to him via: +1（650） 499 5548 and Email: hackvanish （At） gmail （Dot） com， I carefully followed his protocols， throughout the process which lasted for about 6 days， I felt so involved because he maintained an open line of communication till I got my score back to 796， currently my loan application has been approved， I can now give my kids better life。 If you need to hire a hacker， HACK VANISH is highly recommended。 。。。more
Pennie Morgan
，
I started this one on audio and had a hard time stopping it， I was intrigued and had to find out what was going to happen next。 Wayland was 8 when he came home from school early one day only to stumble into the house and find his father committing suicide。 At his feet was a note。 It read， "I am not who you think I am" and Wayland hid this note from his mother for years even when she asked him if he found anything。 Years later when he started having nightmares， he and his friends started to piece I started this one on audio and had a hard time stopping it， I was intrigued and had to find out what was going to happen next。 Wayland was 8 when he came home from school early one day only to stumble into the house and find his father committing suicide。 At his feet was a note。 It read， "I am not who you think I am" and Wayland hid this note from his mother for years even when she asked him if he found anything。 Years later when he started having nightmares， he and his friends started to piece together the mystery of his nightmares and the note。 What they found was unbelievable。 **Received this ARC for review in audio from the publisher from NetGalley** 。。。more
Victoria McVicker
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Totally captivating！ My first by this author but given his superb storytelling， it will not be my last。
Herb
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Dedicatedly uninteresting
Kathy
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I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is a bleak yet engrossing psychological thriller。In 1976， eight-year-old Wayland Maynard witnesses his father’s suicide。 He discovers a cryptic note that he conceals from everyone， including his mother。 Fast-forward to 1984 and the Maynard family is barely hanging on。 Wayland’s younger sister Lydia is involved in a toxic relationship with a much older boyfriend。 They barely see their mother who works double shifts that barely provide for the family。 A I Am Not Who You Think I Am by Eric Rickstad is a bleak yet engrossing psychological thriller。In 1976， eight-year-old Wayland Maynard witnesses his father’s suicide。 He discovers a cryptic note that he conceals from everyone， including his mother。 Fast-forward to 1984 and the Maynard family is barely hanging on。 Wayland’s younger sister Lydia is involved in a toxic relationship with a much older boyfriend。 They barely see their mother who works double shifts that barely provide for the family。 After Wayland remembers an odd detail about his father’s death， he decides to try to understand the meaning of the suicide note。 Why did his father leave a note that reads， “I am not who you think I am”？ Equally confusing and painful， why did his mother remove every trace of his father？Wayland’s friendship with Clay is already strained when he tells him about his decision to investigate his father’s death。 Angered by Clay’s response， Wayland begins his search on his own。 Almost immediately， he runs in to his classmate and crush Juliette Lancaum。 He accepts her surprising offer to help him but their partnership is rocky because of her unreliability。 Wayland is undeterred as he sets out to prove that his theory about what happened to his father is true。 He has a short fuse and he is quick to lash out at the people who care about him。 His mother’s questions unleash unexpected frustration and rage that he finds difficult to control。 As he edges closer to finding the truth， Wayland spirals into a dark frame of mind that results in shocking decisions that will forever haunt him。I Am Not Who You Think I Am is a gripping mystery that moves at a brisk pace。 Wayland is a sympathetic character who turns out to be his own worst enemy。 He slowly but steadily unravels his family’s secrets but is he prepared for what he is about to unearth？ With diabolical twists and jaw-dropping turns， Eric Rickstad brings this atmospheric thriller to a poignant conclusion。 。。。more
Keith
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I don't read many thrillers， and this book is one reason why since I。 Could。 Not。 Put。 It。 Down。 Read the entire thing in a day！ Vivid， haunting， and wow， that ending！ I don't read many thrillers， and this book is one reason why since I。 Could。 Not。 Put。 It。 Down。 Read the entire thing in a day！ Vivid， haunting， and wow， that ending！ 。。。more
Albert Riehle
，
This wasn't a good book for a lot of reasons。 From unlikable characters to a slow plot with meandering descriptions of pointless irrelevant scenes and details， to the end that seemed fairly obvious about halfway through and wound up being roll-your-eyes worthy when it all came together， it just got everything wrong。The characters are the first problem。 The protagonist of this story is unlikable。 Something terrible happened to him years before and it's clearly taken it's toll on him。 I'm not sure This wasn't a good book for a lot of reasons。 From unlikable characters to a slow plot with meandering descriptions of pointless irrelevant scenes and details， to the end that seemed fairly obvious about halfway through and wound up being roll-your-eyes worthy when it all came together， it just got everything wrong。The characters are the first problem。 The protagonist of this story is unlikable。 Something terrible happened to him years before and it's clearly taken it's toll on him。 I'm not sure if the writer was going for a Hero's Journey humble beginning or if he expected us to dislike his leading character like a male Gillian Flynn character but either way， it flopped。 The protagonist of this book makes you side with those who bully him。 The pace of this book is abysmal。 It felt like someone trying to write a Stephen King novel in many places。 Like， King， this book seemed to try on the coming of age story angle but unlike King it failed。 Also like King， in places， Rickstad spends way too much time describing scenery or weather that has nothing to do with the story， only where King wields the language where you can almost forgive him for it， in this book it just clogs up an already slow plot and weighs it down further。Finally， this book is dumb。 I'm not going to spoil it for you but the end of this book doesn't come with amazing revelations and clever plot twists。 It comes with eye rolls and a need to continually ask yourself--he can't really be taking this angle can he？ But he does。 And he ties this ridiculous reveal back to a seemingly silly point that was oddly thrown in early on which， strictly speaking isn't really a common occurrence but more of a joke/stereotype/old-wives-tale and it just falls flat。I can't possibly recommend this book。 It's a 1。5 star affair for me and while I've heard good things about one of this author's other books there's no way I'm going to pay for it。 The absurdity of the reveal in this book is just too much for me。 Do yourself a favor and skip this one。 。。。more
Judith Moroff
，
First， thank you to NetGalley for the ARC to this engrossing， intuitive and soul-breaking story。The story begins with 8 year old Wayland witnessing his father's suicide。 Fast forward eight years later， where Wayland and his family have disintegrated， living in true poverty， all living with their scars silently。 Wayland retains the note he found at his father's body， "I am not who you think I am，" and recovers a memory that propels him and his friends forward， to the secrets of the town itself， i First， thank you to NetGalley for the ARC to this engrossing， intuitive and soul-breaking story。The story begins with 8 year old Wayland witnessing his father's suicide。 Fast forward eight years later， where Wayland and his family have disintegrated， living in true poverty， all living with their scars silently。 Wayland retains the note he found at his father's body， "I am not who you think I am，" and recovers a memory that propels him and his friends forward， to the secrets of the town itself， its history， its obligations， its debts。I have to say I found the characters， especially those of the young adults， to be genuine: sweaty， confused， unrelenting， emotional。 The reader can see what they see， and feel what they feel。 Always great to see when a writer can get that right， and not condescend to their young characters， their needs and wants。This is a story of so many cautions and assumptions， of Wayland's mom making decisions for her kids that she feels is in their best interest， but instead becomes a perpetual deep fail。I highly recommend this book。 。。。more
Kelli
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I received a Netgalley copy for an honest review。 I really enjoyed this book and didn’t see the conclusion coming。 The story takes place in a small town and follows the story of a-boy who lost his father。 Wayland is trying to understand many things about father he didn’t know。 The story kept you wanting to keep reading and the ending of the story I really enjoyed。 I highly recommend。
Yusuf Nasrullah
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Lot of drama and steamy build-up， and then a furiously inept resolution。 Bah！
Tamara
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Title: I Am Not Who You Think I AmAuthor: Eric RickstadGenre: Mystery/thrillerRating: 3。0Wayland…ended up being a horrible person。 Completely self-absorbed， selfish， and prone to jumping to conclusions， I never felt any sympathy for him。 Later in the book， I actively disliked him and found him even less sympathetic。 While the writing was solid， I found the premise—and the truth—outside my realm of belief。（Galley courtesy of Blackstone Publishing in exchange for an honest review。）
Debbie
，
Well I quite enjoyed this。 I listened and Steven Weber is a great narrator。 This thriller kept me guessing。 I thought I figured it out， then no， it can’t be that。 Is the narrator unreliable？ Why is this family secret such a big deal？ Never guessed it。
Kyle Heon
，
Fantastic readNew to this author I was excited for this book due to multiple recommendations I saw online from friends that had an early review copy。 This was a fantastic book that had me turning pages wildly and staying up way too late many nights。
Jean
，
I just finished reading "I Am Not Who You Think I Am"， by Eric Rickstad。 I want to thank NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 First of all， let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book。 I was intrigued by the title and it did not dissapoint。 This book is all about how we are not what or who people think we are， that we hide behind secrets and lies and missed opportunities。 Furthermore， sometimes finding out the truth can be mor I just finished reading "I Am Not Who You Think I Am"， by Eric Rickstad。 I want to thank NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review。 First of all， let me say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book。 I was intrigued by the title and it did not dissapoint。 This book is all about how we are not what or who people think we are， that we hide behind secrets and lies and missed opportunities。 Furthermore， sometimes finding out the truth can be more devastating than finding out that people haven't been honest with us in the first place。 Sometimes， as this story shows， secrets are meant to be kept hidden， for the betterment of all involved。The story takes us through the life of a young boy who sees his father commit suicide。 He finds a note at his father's feet that says "I am not you you think I am"。。 Years pass and one day， he decides to find out the mystery behind the note。What follows are a series of missteps and revelations that both broke my heart and kept me reading， because the mystery was so well written and described by the author， that I felt like I was part of the action itself。Eric Rickstad is a phenomenal writer。 He has an incredible ability to create a setting that places the reader inside not just the setting but in the minds and hearts of the characters。 He created such believable and complex characters that had such a rich history that I was drawn into the mystery and wanted so badly for the truth to be revealed that I read this book in a matter or days， stealing every moment I could to continue in the journey of the mystery in the book。It is not a happy book。 At times I felt uncomfortable with the events in the novel， but it is steeped in the realistic nature of relationships between parents and their children， and between children and adults。 It made me think about how far I would go to protect my own children from learning terrible truths about me。 In the end， it is a piece of fiction with obviously villanous characters but must of the characters are broken and are in the search for acceptance and truth。 This book is different from most I have read， because all the characters are flawed and some are not redeemable。 But that is the type of book I enjoy。 It was a great reading experience， and I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys this genre。 。。。more
Jedadiah Lampron
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Nothing like his past work but such an amazing book！！ Didn't want to put it down。 Nothing like his past work but such an amazing book！！ Didn't want to put it down。 。。。more
Ivor Armistead
，
The best thing about this book？ It’s a quick read。 Most of the action takes place when the narrator （Maynard Wayland） is 16， which may explain why it reads like a YA novel。 However， the plot is so fantastic， as in beyond reality， that I was utterly unable to suspend disbelief。 Adrian McKinty you owe me。
Salome G
，
This was a quick read， but it ultimately fell a bit flat for me。 But don't take me as the last word--it obviously works well for a lot of other people。 This was a quick read， but it ultimately fell a bit flat for me。 But don't take me as the last word--it obviously works well for a lot of other people。 。。。more
Sherry
，
Wayland walks in as his father kills himself and he finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am。 Not knowing what it means， he keeps it to himself。 Eight years later at 16， he’s convinced that it wasn’t his father that he saw that night and starts to investigate。 And as he does， it seems everyone has a secret and everyone is trying to stop him from finding out the truth。I must admit I was drawn into the audiobook from the start because of the narration of Steven Weber。 I’d recognize that Wayland walks in as his father kills himself and he finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am。 Not knowing what it means， he keeps it to himself。 Eight years later at 16， he’s convinced that it wasn’t his father that he saw that night and starts to investigate。 And as he does， it seems everyone has a secret and everyone is trying to stop him from finding out the truth。I must admit I was drawn into the audiobook from the start because of the narration of Steven Weber。 I’d recognize that voice anywhere。 As the story unfolds you follow Wayland through his obsession in finding out what happened that night。 He is still dealing with his grief。 This is a slow burn psychological thriller。 The author does a good job of creating the tension as the story builds。 I must admit I had no idea what the secrets were。 。。。more
Charissa Lomonico
，
3。5 rounded up to 4。 Overall I enjoyed the book！ I was expecting a more suspenseful-psychological thriller type for some reason， but this book sucked me in anyway。 I was hooked within the first chapter。 I started to enjoy the book less towards the big reveal。 It felt overly dramatic/soapy。 Still a good read though， and I would recommend it！
Laurie
，
What a ride！ This book is a psychological mystery that pulls you in many directions trying hard to figure out which way to look。 Every time I thought I had it almost figured out it zigged one way or zagged another。 The story is enveloped in vivid prose--the language just speaks to us and takes us into the story with both feet。 Not putdownable！ The ending was a huge twist that felt out of left field， yet makes sense in the context of the whole picture。Wayland was a young boy when he witnessed his What a ride！ This book is a psychological mystery that pulls you in many directions trying hard to figure out which way to look。 Every time I thought I had it almost figured out it zigged one way or zagged another。 The story is enveloped in vivid prose--the language just speaks to us and takes us into the story with both feet。 Not putdownable！ The ending was a huge twist that felt out of left field， yet makes sense in the context of the whole picture。Wayland was a young boy when he witnessed his father's apparent suicide。 He find a note that reads "I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM" that he keeps hidden from his mother who is trying hard to convince him that he witnessed his father's death。 Wayland struggles with the thoughts that this was not his father。 When he asks family and friends about this he senses that they are not telling him the truth。 He knows people are lying and is determined to find out the truth 。。。more
MissSusie
，
This book ended up being psychologically spooky which I wasn’t expecting。 This book was hard to put down and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time！Wayland has never gotten over the death of his father when he was a child and the note he left saying “I am not who you think I am” that 8 year old Wayland never showed anyone。 But now as a 16 year old Wayland has questions about that day， about his father and about who he is。 But those answers may come with danger。 Wayland is confused about This book ended up being psychologically spooky which I wasn’t expecting。 This book was hard to put down and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time！Wayland has never gotten over the death of his father when he was a child and the note he left saying “I am not who you think I am” that 8 year old Wayland never showed anyone。 But now as a 16 year old Wayland has questions about that day， about his father and about who he is。 But those answers may come with danger。 Wayland is confused about so much that he may act without thinking。I don’t want to give too much away this was an excellent book that I honestly requested from NetGalley because of the narrator Steven Weber however now I will be digging in to this authors back list of books because I enjoyed the authors style！Steven Weber’s narration was as always amazing！4 starsI received this book from the publisher Blackstone Audio and NetGalley for a fair and honest review。 。。。more
Joel
，
Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself， finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am， and is left reeling with grief and shock。 Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew？ Terrified， Wayland keeps the note a secret， but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning。Eight years later， Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried。The book Wayland Maynard is just eight years old when he sees his father kill himself， finds a note that reads I am not who you think I am， and is left reeling with grief and shock。 Who was his father if not the loving man Wayland knew？ Terrified， Wayland keeps the note a secret， but his reasons for being afraid are just beginning。Eight years later， Wayland makes a shocking discovery and becomes certain the note is the key to unlocking a past his mother and others in his town want to keep buried。The book starts out with some gruesome and violent depictions of suicide， so consider this a trigger warning。 I wasn't sure I liked Wayland very much in the beginning， as he goes with his friend Clay to shoot the brains out of small rodents and he has a horrible temper， but it's clearly reflective of the trauma he's experienced。 When he finally reveals what the note says and he embarks on his quest to find out who his father was， the story takes a more intriguing turn and Wayland becomes more likable as a character， although eventually it comes out that there is a reason why his character is so difficult to like。 I expected it to come out at the end that Wayland is delusional， psychotic， or possibly psychopathic， but I wasn't expecting the truth revealed at the end。 Again， some pretty shocking themes here， so be forewarned， but the riddles are effectively answered by the end of the book。 I was thrown by the narration: while the vivid details and incredible word choices accentuate the story， it doesn't sound like the voice of a 16 year-old， and certainly uses far too high a vocabulary for the eight-year-old Wayland at the beginning of the book。 If it weren't in first-person POV， this probably wouldn't strike me as much。 Eventually， I became accustomed to it， but be aware this may throw other readers as well。 Overall， this is a gripping book。 The twists more than make up for it， and the story will keep fans of dark psychological thrillers locked in。 。。。more
Anne-Marie
，