Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss
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- Create Date：2021-08-11 22:20:58
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Rachel Lewis
- ISBN：0764237713
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Reviews
Christina Thomas
，
10 years ago this month I suffered my first lost i have searched for years a found very few books for this topic let alone that were helpful。 This book just it connected with me。 My last miscarriage was December of 2018。 And I still feel the pain of losing a child and this reaffirmed so many things I have felt and thought for almost 10 years。 This book is amazing。 Yes I cried I cried because of my own loss and heart ache but for also all those out there whom have suffered this same fate。 Please 10 years ago this month I suffered my first lost i have searched for years a found very few books for this topic let alone that were helpful。 This book just it connected with me。 My last miscarriage was December of 2018。 And I still feel the pain of losing a child and this reaffirmed so many things I have felt and thought for almost 10 years。 This book is amazing。 Yes I cried I cried because of my own loss and heart ache but for also all those out there whom have suffered this same fate。 Please read this book it has so much amazing information and advice in it。 It is an emotional roller coaster but it is eye opening。 。。。more
Diana
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This is such an important book。 I lost my baby 8 years ago。 At the time， I felt lonely about it and it seemed as though so many people around me didn’t know what to say or how to act。 It was a topic of secrecy。。which was only more isolating。 I remember feeling frustrated that family members wanted me to just move on as if nothing had happened。 I wish I’d had this book then。 Even all of these years later， this book still helped me。 Our pain lives inside us long after the traumatic time has passed This is such an important book。 I lost my baby 8 years ago。 At the time， I felt lonely about it and it seemed as though so many people around me didn’t know what to say or how to act。 It was a topic of secrecy。。which was only more isolating。 I remember feeling frustrated that family members wanted me to just move on as if nothing had happened。 I wish I’d had this book then。 Even all of these years later， this book still helped me。 Our pain lives inside us long after the traumatic time has passed。 Processing it is healing， whether it happened 2 months ago or many years。 Processing also doesn’t mean forgetting。 This book creates space for remembering and honoring your baby and yourself。 I love that Rachel included information about what our bodies go through after baby loss。 I appreciated the perspective of male partners offered in the book。 Unexpected is affirming of our real and valid pain。 。。。more
Felicia
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I so wish I had this book when I went through my miscarriages and infant loss many years ago， but I’m so GLAD it’s available to those that need it now。 When you go through a loss you feel alone and isolated。 There aren’t many books and resources on pregnancy and infant loss。 This book is a GIFT！！！ This book is everything you need when just experiencing a loss。 Rachel is so empathetic， compassionate and really connects with the reader。 She shares her own stories。 She validates all the feelings yo I so wish I had this book when I went through my miscarriages and infant loss many years ago， but I’m so GLAD it’s available to those that need it now。 When you go through a loss you feel alone and isolated。 There aren’t many books and resources on pregnancy and infant loss。 This book is a GIFT！！！ This book is everything you need when just experiencing a loss。 Rachel is so empathetic， compassionate and really connects with the reader。 She shares her own stories。 She validates all the feelings you have when new to loss and going through it and raw and honest and words are so comforting。 This book is a wonderful resource when experiencing a loss and I would definitely recommend it。 Thank you Rachel for this book。 。。。more
Leslie Rebholz
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This book hits on so many levels: pregnancy/infant/baby loss， navigating life in the midst of grief， infertility。 Rachel’s rawness and authenticity of her own journey causes you to not feel so alone。 These topics are not well spoken of in mains team culture yet， for many women it’s a burden that goes unnoticed or understood。 Rachel GETS IT！ She provides a wealth of resources in her book but also addresses a grieving mamas heart unlike few other books have before regarding infant loss。 Her words This book hits on so many levels: pregnancy/infant/baby loss， navigating life in the midst of grief， infertility。 Rachel’s rawness and authenticity of her own journey causes you to not feel so alone。 These topics are not well spoken of in mains team culture yet， for many women it’s a burden that goes unnoticed or understood。 Rachel GETS IT！ She provides a wealth of resources in her book but also addresses a grieving mamas heart unlike few other books have before regarding infant loss。 Her words are like a balm to an ache that won’t subside。 A must read for women experiencing pregnancy loss， infant or child loss and or any infertility。-Leslie R。 。。。more
Chelsea Mellett
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I wish I could express how much I needed this book when I experienced my first pregnancy loss。 But oddly， even a year after my third loss， this book spoke to me in ways that not even a close friend or family member could。 Rachel gave me a gift— she opened my eyes to the fact that my grief is not a problem to be solved。 She reminded me that my feelings are just that， feelings。 And I don’t have to justify my feelings to anyone。 This is a must read for anyone experiencing pregnancy loss。
Mary Marshall
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I experienced 3 miscarriages and while I was going through the last one， I found Rachel。 Her writing is honest， brave， and heartfelt。 She both unashamedly faces the grief as well as providing true hope。 Where so many people try to give overly optimistic or unhelpful advice， "Unexpecting" draws from medical sources， other families who have experienced loss， as well as her personal experience in order to provide a space for healing， grief， and practical help。 Whether you have experienced an early- I experienced 3 miscarriages and while I was going through the last one， I found Rachel。 Her writing is honest， brave， and heartfelt。 She both unashamedly faces the grief as well as providing true hope。 Where so many people try to give overly optimistic or unhelpful advice， "Unexpecting" draws from medical sources， other families who have experienced loss， as well as her personal experience in order to provide a space for healing， grief， and practical help。 Whether you have experienced an early-term miscarriage or a stillbirth， Rachel address the unique issues to many types of pregnancy loss。 This book provided many answers to questions I wasn't sure how to answer， as well as giving me a picture of what was happening to my mind， body， and emotions as I walked through my loss。 I would highly recommend this book as a gift to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss。 。。。more
Lisa
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Not only does Rachel Lewis share her losses and her experience， but she also opens it up to guide the reader along their own journey and includes prompts at the end of each section for journaling， discussion， or reflection。 Rachel’s book is written in a conversational tone that makes it easy to follow and even includes little blurbs scattered throughout the book from other loss parents for additional insight。While this book is about navigating pregnancy loss， I also found it helpful in my own ex Not only does Rachel Lewis share her losses and her experience， but she also opens it up to guide the reader along their own journey and includes prompts at the end of each section for journaling， discussion， or reflection。 Rachel’s book is written in a conversational tone that makes it easy to follow and even includes little blurbs scattered throughout the book from other loss parents for additional insight。While this book is about navigating pregnancy loss， I also found it helpful in my own experience with the death and grief surrounding my infant son。 This book covers so much like understanding grief， dissecting and addressing complicated emotions， triggers， tackling faith， understanding the well intended but hurtful comments people say， finding support， etc so it’s not just for pregnancy loss。 I love how Rachel doesn’t shy away from the ugly things that come from loss and she addresses the things that no one really talks about。 I feel seen。 I’d highly recommend this book for parents that have suffered the loss of their baby （before or after birth） or for those that want more insight to help someone going through it。 I’ve read nearly a dozen books about grief or infant and pregnancy loss since losing my son a few years ago and this book is definitely one of my favorites。 。。。more
Kasey Schultz-Saindon
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This book is truly a gift to the pregnancy and infant loss community。 Rachel Lewis’ words resonated so well with my experiences of grieving after consecutive second trimester losses。 I found myself nodding along and feeling all of my experiences validated as I read each chapter。 This book can provide guidance on how to navigate decision making surrounding pregnancy loss， can help you know what to expect or anticipate how you may feel as time goes on， and can help you understand the feelings that This book is truly a gift to the pregnancy and infant loss community。 Rachel Lewis’ words resonated so well with my experiences of grieving after consecutive second trimester losses。 I found myself nodding along and feeling all of my experiences validated as I read each chapter。 This book can provide guidance on how to navigate decision making surrounding pregnancy loss， can help you know what to expect or anticipate how you may feel as time goes on， and can help you understand the feelings that you are having。 It includes personal stories from the author and words from other loss parents， and it centers on helping the reader navigate their feelings， meeting them wherever they are at。 Overall， the book has a strong sentiment of love， validation， and support throughout， leaving the reader with a feeling that they are not alone， that their experiences is normal， and that they are understood。 This book would be helpful for people at any point in their grieving after losing a pregnancy。 It is now on the top of my list of books to send to anyone experiencing a pregnancy loss at any gestation， and I still gained something from it even 4 and 5 years out from my stillbirths。 。。。more
Dona R
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Rachel’s words reach through the grief that threatens to overwhelm， and reassure parents that they are not alone。 That so many of the emotions they have experienced/will experience are normal。 That God Himself knows intimately the loss of a child and will meet them in their pain。 And ultimately， that beauty can result from incredible devastation。If your life has been shattered by the loss of a baby or child， this book contains a wealth of information on navigating the journey through grief。
Alex Jacobson
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This book is a gift。 An incredible resource for those currently experiencing loss and equally valuable for those who have ever lost a child， or as a loved one supporting a loss family。 Author Rachel Lewis created a tool and a companion to carry during and after loss that is a priceless gift。She formatted the book in an easily digestible way， you can jump around as your needs dictate or read it cover to cover。 With each page turn Lewis helps you process， sit in your own unique story and also vali This book is a gift。 An incredible resource for those currently experiencing loss and equally valuable for those who have ever lost a child， or as a loved one supporting a loss family。 Author Rachel Lewis created a tool and a companion to carry during and after loss that is a priceless gift。She formatted the book in an easily digestible way， you can jump around as your needs dictate or read it cover to cover。 With each page turn Lewis helps you process， sit in your own unique story and also validates your experience。 She provides space for the reader that is often hard to create or come by。 This precious gift of time and space， and the inclusion of others’ words and stories keeps the audience broad and the message inclusive。No matter when or how you faced loss， “Unexpecting” is for you。 Finally， we have a book， a compilation of experiences and also a love letter from a fellow loss parent， that can be freely gifted and used by loss parents and family who just don’t know what is next。 The journal prompts help facilitate healing and grieving。 Whether you are currently experiencing loss or are years ‘past it’ in time （because really we may never be ‘past it’） this book will help。 I know because it helped me。I have already purchased multiple copies to have readily available and per the author’s suggestion will gift it freely to those I encounter going through loss。 I’ll do so with no expectation that they read any or all of it， offering to read it with them， or to receive the book back read or unread。 Knowing that if they will feel more known， understood and not alone if they are able to read。 And if they cannot… I am more equipped to sit with them。If you have never experienced loss， as 1 in 4 women do （and beyond that they represent so many more who are impacted，） this book is still one to read。 Read to understand because you will one day be grateful for the way this opened your mind to grief， even if it is only the grief of others。 。。。more
Amie Lands
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Rachel Lewis’ book， Unexpecting， gracefully tends to so many important topics in a kind， considerate， honest， comforting， and validating way-no matter your belief system and no matter the length of time since your loss。 This book is a necessary addition to the pregnancy/infant loss bookshelf， a must have for bereaved parents！
Cathy Enyeart
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The very first thing I noticed about this book is that you sense that Rachel is speaking directly to you， the reader。 She is empathetic， compassionate， and affirming。 She includes some of her own experiences and feelings， but you can tell that her main concern is YOU， the reader。She gives you the freedom to grieve in anyway you need， but gives possible suggestions without sounding like a 'know-it-all' authority。She lists a great number of resources， enabling the reader to pursue on her/his own i The very first thing I noticed about this book is that you sense that Rachel is speaking directly to you， the reader。 She is empathetic， compassionate， and affirming。 She includes some of her own experiences and feelings， but you can tell that her main concern is YOU， the reader。She gives you the freedom to grieve in anyway you need， but gives possible suggestions without sounding like a 'know-it-all' authority。She lists a great number of resources， enabling the reader to pursue on her/his own if desired。She addresses fathers and siblings， who are often left out of the discussion。Rachel offers acceptance， comfort and knowledge to those experiencing pregnancy loss presently， or in the past。Personally， I'm convinced that ANY grieving person would benefit from reading this book as well as those who have a friend going through a grieving process， as you gain insights on the grief process and how you can help others。I've bought extra copies to give away， because I am convinced that they will feel heard， be comforted and gain clarity on what they are experiencing。Thank you， Rachel for providing this important resource！ I'm sorry for your own losses， but you've bravely and gently used your painful experiences to benefit others which is to be commended。 。。。more
Alessandra
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The book Unexpecting by Rachel Lewis is the epitome of the book I desperately needed and couldn’t find during my three consecutive pregnancy losses。The honest insight and support Rachel provides in the pages of this book were powerful and I constantly found myself nodding in agreement with her words。There was something so valuable about connecting with someone surrounding something so deeply painful and extremely private。 I can’t express my gratitude enough for the opportunity this book gave me The book Unexpecting by Rachel Lewis is the epitome of the book I desperately needed and couldn’t find during my three consecutive pregnancy losses。The honest insight and support Rachel provides in the pages of this book were powerful and I constantly found myself nodding in agreement with her words。There was something so valuable about connecting with someone surrounding something so deeply painful and extremely private。 I can’t express my gratitude enough for the opportunity this book gave me to not only feel seen as a woman and mother， but also to have my grief unquestionably affirmed as nothing short of normal。 。。。more
Bethany
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This book is EXACTLY what I needed。 I’ve been having such a difficult time dealing with the loss of my baby。 I was told years ago I may never get pregnant without medical intervention， and so when I did， only to have it end in loss， I was devastated。 Within the first couple of pages， I was crying。 Rachel described EVERY emotion I’ve been feeling。 This book was incredibly validating。 Raw， open， honest。 It is definitely one I will recommend to anyone who has experienced infant loss！ Thank you Rach This book is EXACTLY what I needed。 I’ve been having such a difficult time dealing with the loss of my baby。 I was told years ago I may never get pregnant without medical intervention， and so when I did， only to have it end in loss， I was devastated。 Within the first couple of pages， I was crying。 Rachel described EVERY emotion I’ve been feeling。 This book was incredibly validating。 Raw， open， honest。 It is definitely one I will recommend to anyone who has experienced infant loss！ Thank you Rachel， for writing this。 I’m so grateful to have this wonderful resource as I learn to navigate my life after loss。 。。。more
Ashlie Hogan
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Going through the loss of a baby to miscarriage can make a person feel that they are all alone and that no one understands what you are going through。 You desperately seek out someone or something to help you feel understood， and you may end up browsing the shelves of a bookstore， and before this book。。。 you might have turned up empty handed and saddened。 Rachel Lewis has written the book for moms that are experiencing loss that so many mothers are looking for。。。 a book that helps them not feel Going through the loss of a baby to miscarriage can make a person feel that they are all alone and that no one understands what you are going through。 You desperately seek out someone or something to help you feel understood， and you may end up browsing the shelves of a bookstore， and before this book。。。 you might have turned up empty handed and saddened。 Rachel Lewis has written the book for moms that are experiencing loss that so many mothers are looking for。。。 a book that helps them not feel alone， a book that helps them grieve， and a book that helps them know what to expect on this journey they never wanted to be on。 For someone going through loss， this book will be a warm embrace， and for someone who wonders what a woman going through loss feels like， this book will be a beautiful guide to lead to understanding。 。。。more
Jenny Albers
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After experiencing an ectopic pregnancy followed by a stillbirth， I struggled to find resources that adequately addressed the complexities of loss。 Thankfully， Unexpecting， fills in that gap。 Rachel's book is both a guide and a companion through the heartache and grief of losing a baby。 She meets the reader with compassion， validation， and hope and never glosses over the enormity of all that is lost when you lose a baby。 After experiencing an ectopic pregnancy followed by a stillbirth， I struggled to find resources that adequately addressed the complexities of loss。 Thankfully， Unexpecting， fills in that gap。 Rachel's book is both a guide and a companion through the heartache and grief of losing a baby。 She meets the reader with compassion， validation， and hope and never glosses over the enormity of all that is lost when you lose a baby。 。。。more
Angel Godart
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A therapeutic， well organized and moving read。 Unexpecting is the perfect mind， body and soul read。 The author， Rachel， is able to connect with all stages of grief。 Unexpecting has you on a rollercoaster of emotions。 Rachel has a way with words that allows you， the reader， to feel like she is having a very personal conversation with you through her book。 Unexpecting creates affirmations， acceptance， connection， truth and peace。 This book is a must read for anyone that has experience any type of A therapeutic， well organized and moving read。 Unexpecting is the perfect mind， body and soul read。 The author， Rachel， is able to connect with all stages of grief。 Unexpecting has you on a rollercoaster of emotions。 Rachel has a way with words that allows you， the reader， to feel like she is having a very personal conversation with you through her book。 Unexpecting creates affirmations， acceptance， connection， truth and peace。 This book is a must read for anyone that has experience any type of loss in their life。 Even if you have not experienced pregnancy loss yourself， I believe this is still a very valuable read to support that mother， friend， daughter， sister or father that has lost their child。 Despite the fact that my first loss was seven years ago， I still found the book to be extremely helpful。 Working through your loss or losses is one of the hardest ventures I have ever endured。 Rachel- thank you for pouring your heart and soul into this book。 Thank you for reminding me that everyone’s grief is unique yet the same in many ways。 Unexpecting is a marvellous read that will help many people on their grief journey。 Thank for helping me on mine。 。。。more
Amy C。
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In the 6 years since my stillbirth， I haven't found a book that provided such immense validation and so strongly resonated with me the way this one has。 Unexpecting beautifully weaves components of the author's personal journey， various perspectives from bereaved families， and insightful research to provide an honest look at pregnancy loss and grief's many intricate components。 I truly appreciate that Rachel doesn't shy away from discussing the ugly and uncomfortable aspects of grief but does so In the 6 years since my stillbirth， I haven't found a book that provided such immense validation and so strongly resonated with me the way this one has。 Unexpecting beautifully weaves components of the author's personal journey， various perspectives from bereaved families， and insightful research to provide an honest look at pregnancy loss and grief's many intricate components。 I truly appreciate that Rachel doesn't shy away from discussing the ugly and uncomfortable aspects of grief but does so in a way that is easily processed by the reader and not overbearing。 This book meets you where you are at in your grief; you are given the space （and encouragement） to feel and do what's best for you in your own grief experience all while being gently guided and supported。 It truly is a wonderful resource for anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss。 。。。more
Lydia Miller
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After losing a baby， you often feel so alone， and people don't know what to say to you。 Rachel's book， is the calming words of support you need to hear most when your in that dark， scary place。 I love that the topic of fathers is also addressed in the book， perfect to read together as a couple to help both parents though hard times。 It does not matter if your loss was years ago or just yesterday， this book helps work through the pain and struggles that come with a loss。 Amazing words of support After losing a baby， you often feel so alone， and people don't know what to say to you。 Rachel's book， is the calming words of support you need to hear most when your in that dark， scary place。 I love that the topic of fathers is also addressed in the book， perfect to read together as a couple to help both parents though hard times。 It does not matter if your loss was years ago or just yesterday， this book helps work through the pain and struggles that come with a loss。 Amazing words of support that let you know your not alone in a time of loss 。。。more
Jessica Richards Bateman
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As someone who has had a loss of their child and nowhere to turn for the longest time this book has helped me understand where I and other families have been missing a community to gather around other people's loss。 I am so happy to have found this book it has helped with my healing process and understanding that's am not alone in the grieving process and their is more people like me who have been in my shoes and understand me and my loss。 My baby has been gone for 7 years now and I miss her eve As someone who has had a loss of their child and nowhere to turn for the longest time this book has helped me understand where I and other families have been missing a community to gather around other people's loss。 I am so happy to have found this book it has helped with my healing process and understanding that's am not alone in the grieving process and their is more people like me who have been in my shoes and understand me and my loss。 My baby has been gone for 7 years now and I miss her everyday but no one day we will be together and this book has helped in the helping。 。。。more
Kristina Witt
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After we lost our first son， I felt so alone and I had no idea what to expect。 A book like this lets parents know they are not forgotten and they are not alone。 Rachel talks about the physical， emotional， and spiritual aspects of loss。 The physical aspect is left out of so many books。 Fathers are also so often forgotten about and in this book， Rachel talks about fathers often as well as had input from other fathers。 This is exactly what is needed to help grieving parents and also to teach others After we lost our first son， I felt so alone and I had no idea what to expect。 A book like this lets parents know they are not forgotten and they are not alone。 Rachel talks about the physical， emotional， and spiritual aspects of loss。 The physical aspect is left out of so many books。 Fathers are also so often forgotten about and in this book， Rachel talks about fathers often as well as had input from other fathers。 This is exactly what is needed to help grieving parents and also to teach others how to support someone who is dealing with pregnancy loss。 。。。more
Karen Prisco
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I wish I had this book when we lost our daughter during pregnancy。 It’s the honest and frank conversation I needed then and still need now years later。 Drawing on her own experiences， those of a community of bereaved parents， and experts， the author weaves a web of support that I felt connected to。 The wisdom she has gathered and shares about infertility， what to expect from your postpartum body， supporting siblings through loss， including fathers as grievers and many other aspects of unexpectin I wish I had this book when we lost our daughter during pregnancy。 It’s the honest and frank conversation I needed then and still need now years later。 Drawing on her own experiences， those of a community of bereaved parents， and experts， the author weaves a web of support that I felt connected to。 The wisdom she has gathered and shares about infertility， what to expect from your postpartum body， supporting siblings through loss， including fathers as grievers and many other aspects of unexpecting will undoubtedly help bereaved parents navigate the days， weeks， and years after their loss。 Unexpecting is an accessible guide that is easily read from cover to cover or by jumping directly to the chapters you feel you need。 This is a must read book for all bereaved parents that has made me feel seen， heard and held by the author and wider bereaved community。 。。。more
Kaylyn
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Six years ago when we had our stillbirth I needed this book。 Even though much time has passed， I am still finding this book worthwhile in leading me process my grief。 It is so refreshing to have someone who gets it， to speak plainly about the depths of grief and loss and the nuances that surround it。 Rachel has done a wonderful job making a book about baby loss easy to read， with much to digest。 It is real， honest and meaningful。 I have been and will continue to recommend this book to anyone who Six years ago when we had our stillbirth I needed this book。 Even though much time has passed， I am still finding this book worthwhile in leading me process my grief。 It is so refreshing to have someone who gets it， to speak plainly about the depths of grief and loss and the nuances that surround it。 Rachel has done a wonderful job making a book about baby loss easy to read， with much to digest。 It is real， honest and meaningful。 I have been and will continue to recommend this book to anyone who endures pregnancy loss。 。。。more
Frances
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If you find yourself dumped into the bereaved community， then this is the book for you。 Rachel gives you the raw， unfiltered truth about what it's really like after pregnancy loss in the most graceful way。 Her words are like pillows wrapped in satin， cushioning you throughout the most painful time of your life。 Anyone that has experienced a loss， whether it be recent or 10 years ago， should read this book。 It will bring to the surface emotions you didn't know how had about your experience， emoti If you find yourself dumped into the bereaved community， then this is the book for you。 Rachel gives you the raw， unfiltered truth about what it's really like after pregnancy loss in the most graceful way。 Her words are like pillows wrapped in satin， cushioning you throughout the most painful time of your life。 Anyone that has experienced a loss， whether it be recent or 10 years ago， should read this book。 It will bring to the surface emotions you didn't know how had about your experience， emotions that need to be worked through。 This is the book you want to give to your friend that just suffered a miscarriage。 This is the book I wish I had when I suffered through a stillbirth。 。。。more
Kelly Parham
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Unexpecting covers everything you didn’t know you needed after your baby dies。 Rachel Lewis gently guides you through the pain， the unknown， the physical and spiritual side。 She writes to you as a “dear friend”， each section lovingly ending with a letter to you。 She has included journal prompts as well to help you process your grief and feelings。 Unexpecting answers questions you didn’t know how or who to ask。 Though I lost my first daughter six years ago and another baby one year ago， this book Unexpecting covers everything you didn’t know you needed after your baby dies。 Rachel Lewis gently guides you through the pain， the unknown， the physical and spiritual side。 She writes to you as a “dear friend”， each section lovingly ending with a letter to you。 She has included journal prompts as well to help you process your grief and feelings。 Unexpecting answers questions you didn’t know how or who to ask。 Though I lost my first daughter six years ago and another baby one year ago， this book still brought healing。 I know we will never be the same after our baby passes， but this book will be a balm to broken hearts。 I passionately recommend this book to anyone who has lost their precious baby。 。。。more
Kendra Stephens
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The book you didn't know you needed， until you needed it。 Unexpecting is a heartfelt， honest， and raw guide to navigating life after your child dies。 Rachel writes with grace and compassion that allows the reader to feel heard， understood， and accepted in their grief journey。 The book you didn't know you needed， until you needed it。 Unexpecting is a heartfelt， honest， and raw guide to navigating life after your child dies。 Rachel writes with grace and compassion that allows the reader to feel heard， understood， and accepted in their grief journey。 。。。more
Elizabeth Mckenzie
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